I like how we have the disclaimer that the preceding story was fictional and did not portray any actual persons or events. Just in case, you know, Barry Bonds got roided up enough to sue. And look! It's AB Chao's name under production staff! WAHOO!

Meanwhile, next week it's either a Marine recruitment ad, or it's totally Dungeons and Dragons. Too bad that guy just died.

Stephanie V.W. Lucianovic is a writer/editor in San Francisco. You can find other examples of her writing at The Grub Report and Bay Area Bites. Two of her biggest achievements to date is that she made a bread Jacques Pépin didn't hate while working on More Fast Food My Way and that she survived Enterprise and Jennifer Love Hewitt's breastages.