It's not often that a show makes me squeal, but when the show opened and we saw Eli talking to Allan Rachins about why he should represent Eli in his disbarment case, I did actually squeal. Because, seriously! It's Brackman from L.A. Law! The quirky lawyer show that spawned all quirky lawyer shows! (I'll still never forget that bizarre golf course case where some old biddy was salivating on the witness stand over her description of a golfer beating a swan to death with his club.) The fact that Rachins' head so perfectly blocks the second and third letters of his law firm's name so all you saw was B [head]ckman couldn't have been a coincidence. Anyway, Rachins, having shaved off his hippie Dharma & Greg locks in order to return to the straight-laced legal locks of his youth, basically tells Eli that he really has no shot at winning his case even if he could find a lawyer. Rachins is even more convinced of that fact after Eli admits that he's been hiding his life-threatening aneurysm. (Oh, wait -- there is an "E" behind Rachins' head. Darn.) Yeah, so things don't look too bright for Eli. However, it's Eli Stone, so I have a feeling the sun will come out tomorrow. In the middle of this meeting, Eli feels drops of water on his head that he assumes are coming from a faulty AC, but since we don't see the drops, we can expect visions soon.
Over at the firm's morning meeting, everyone is reacting to a new case. Maggie's gibbering, "He's dead? As in dead-dead?" Dowd has the best response for her yet when he snaps, "No, alive-dead. He is a zombie." Seriously -- shut up, Maggie, no one cares about a character who cries in nearly every episode. Eli enters at this point and snarks that he thought they were all filled up with "blood-sucking clients." Oh, Eli, zombie's aren't blood-sucking, they're brains-sucking! Then again, maybe Eli's a little blind where brains are concerned. Because, you know: aneurysm. Anyway, Eli's brainless quip pretty much goes over like the proverbial lead balloon as everyone else sort of shuffles papers or drinks coffee to avoid looking at him. Jordan makes a sardonic comment about no one reading the daily paper and clarifies that Jayson Turk, the All-Star catcher for the Golden State Marvels, hit a foul ball that bopped the third base coach on the head and, well, killed him. FOUL PLAY! (Sorry. Had to be said.) Posner drawls, "Yes, I picked an excellent night to bring the kids out to the firm's luxury box." A) I'm sure they couldn't even see much from the luxury box, since luxury boxes are so far from the actual playing field they might as well be at SFO; and B) They play video games. They'll get over it.