Eli Stone
Waiting For That Day

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Where's That Confounded Bridge?

Eli hops in a cab to go downtown and busies himself with his phone, so he doesn't notice when he seamlessly gets thrown into a vision. He's still in a cab, but the driver is a much younger guy, and, as he tells someone named "Macaroni" via the phone in his hand, they're on the Golden Gate Bridge. This wakes Eli up, and after he unsuccessfully tries to get the driver's attention, he realizes he's left reality. I had a joke all ready about the driver's failure to use a hands-free headset being the cause of the impending disaster, but he hangs up well before it happens. Well, anyone who called his girlfriend "Macaroni" was someone I was likely to hate. The radio announcer tells us it's 5: 13 PM on Thursday the 24th, and Eli mutters that it's actually the 21st, but that's all the griping he has time for as, in a well-done effects sequence, an earthquake hits and the bridge starts to sway. One of the cables comes loose and snaps right into the car's windshield...

...and then Eli's coming to in the back of the cab, with the driver asking where he's going. In Eli's defense, he did actually give the driver an address, but the guy's inattentiveness allows Eli to revise his destination to Chinatown. He barks, "And stay off the Golden Gate!" Speaking of which, couldn't we have gotten rid of the fugly Bay Bridge instead, at least in the Stone-verse? That earthquake has no taste.

Eli tells Chen that the aneurysm faked him out once, and now that he's having it removed, "it's trying to scare me with big-budget sequels!" Having seen the third installments in both the X-Men and Spider-Man series, I'll have to ask you if you know a better way to scare someone. Chen notes that "personifying" his aneurysm is weird, and I would have given him many extra points if he'd said "anthropomorphizing" instead. How often do you get to use that word in a sentence? Eli compares himself to Jonah, and Chen's like, "Jonah may have been skeptical, but he was actually a prophet, you idiot." When Eli tells him about learning the exact date and time of the quake, though, Chen urgently tells him he has to make the information known. Eli points out, however, that he can't actually stop the quake from happening. "And if I barely believe me, who else is going to?"

We move over a hill into a lovely shot of the bridge in question, taken from the Marin County side. I have to mention, though, that in all the many, many stock shots used on this show, there's never the slightest trace of fog, when in fact more often than not, the city looks like a cargo ship exclusively carrying dry ice capsized nearby. I mean, I'm not looking for absolute vérité in my establishing shots, but I feel obligated to warn anyone unfamiliar that this city isn't quite the photographer's dream it's being made out to be.

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Eli Stone

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