MONDO EXTRAS

9:44 - After a Hannity and Colmes joke from two of the Reality Biters (does it matter who, at this point?), Colbert and Stewart come out and make a joke comparing John McCain to a wrinkled old prune. Not bad, I guess. They announce the nominees for Directing for a Miniseries, Movie or Special, and Jay Roach wins for Recount, and has to get played off, despite having already won one of these. Writers are up next, with no time for jokes from C & S, and the writers of John Adams take it. Man, Paul Giamatti better win something, or -- yikes, they just cut that guy off and went to commercial in the middle of a political joke. That's pretty frickin' harsh.

9:51 - Beverly Hills Chihuahua! Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off!

9:53 - Howie Mandel reminds us that he used to be on St. Elsewhere, back when he had a career and self-respect. Then he reminds us that M*A*S*H was a much better show. Sandra Oh and Patrick Dempsey come out, and Oh tells us her parents lived through that war, and we're all sad. Then she makes a joke, and we're happy! They're announcing Best Supporting Actress in a Movie or Mini-Series, and the woman who wins it isn't here. I didn't catch the name. Anyone? No? Moving on.

9:56 - Don Rickles and Kathy Griffin come out, and Griffin demands a standing ovation for the Rickles. Rickles goes off prompter, and apparently when you do that, the prompter flashes to make you go back on. Fascinating! Rickles won an Emmy last week for something. They announce the Best Reality Television nominees, and it's a top-flight lineup. And Amazing Race wins it! For the sixth fricking year in a row! Okay, so maybe it's technically flawless, but man, don't the voters get bored hearing from the same people year after year? Put a little bias in your vote, for Pete's sake!

10:00 - The incomparable Sally Field has taken the stage! She is here to tell us that there are many TV miniseries and they are different in many ways. Good to know! Anyway, John Adams will win, but I wish The Andromeda Strain would instead. Not that I saw either of them, I just wish these things willy nilly sometimes. John Adams won, but he-he, Tom Hanks is accepting (as the EP) and Sally Field on stage with him making Forrest Gump references from the '90s! This makes watching a predictable win I don't give one single hell about almost worth it. Commercial break time!