8:41 - Ah, a clip from The Simpsons, back when it was funny. It's the one when Bart was on Conan O'Brien. Conan comes out, stepping off the Simpsons set. He reminds us that he used to write for the show, and that he was going to say more, but Katherine Heigl said his material wasn't Emmy-worthy. Oh, snap, a Heigl joke! Hope there are more, because she's ridiculous. He announces the nominees for the best Supporting Actress in a drama series. Candice Bergen, Rachel Griffiths, Sandra Oh, Dianne Wiest and Chandra Wilson. And Dianne Wiest gets it... but she's not here. Conan is accepting on her behalf. He's a lot taller than she is.
8:44 - Wow, that's a hell of a pair -- Jennifer Love Hewitt and Hayden Panettierre. The TV "It" Girls of the 1990s and the 2000s, respectively. It's the comedy writer category, and the Colbert Report writing staff is the biggest group of writers I've ever seen. They're having a moonshine party, and Stephen Colbert fires a shotgun and scares them all off. The Daily Show staff are shown as people at political conventions, the Conan writers are multi-ethnic kids in Conan O'Brien's bed (with Angelina Jolie), Letterman's writers are critiqued by Dr. Phil, and SNL's writers are shown as Wii Sports characters. Colbert wins, and they all come up on stage. Man, there's a lot of them. Of course, Stephen gets to speak for all of them.
8:49 - Oh, God. Howie Mandel and Jeff Probst are back. I had hoped that was all a bad dream. They're talking about accountants, for some reason. The accountants come out, and immediately walk off the stage. Great, more wasting of time. And now, Mandel talks more about himself, because that's why we're all here, and then he's talking about his hero, Steve Martin! Martin comes out. Another pretty damn funny man. He started writing on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour? Crazy! Tommy Smothers is his comedy hero? Crazier! Apparently, Tommy Smothers was supposed to get a writing Emmy for the show back in the 1960s, or something, so they're finally going to give it to him! He's up on stage, and he looks like he's Martin's dad, because they are dressed alike and both have white hair. We see his brother Dick, and -- hey, Christian Slater is in the audience! I wonder if it's good Christian Slater or bad Christian Slater. We'll have to wait and see if he kills anybody. Tommy of course rambles on about freedom of speech and the futility of war, and I see why they didn't want him on Dancing With the Stars. Did they give him this award just so they could get someone to say something controversial without fear of reprisals? Strange.