9:41 - Man, the new Dancing With the Stars is going to be ridiculous. Cloris Leachman vs. Susan Lucci? The commercial changes to one for Desperate Housewives, and I don't even notice.
9:42 - Hey, Dragnet is on! Dammit, it's just Jeff Probst, dressed like Columbo. Luckily, he only sticks around long enough to introduce William Petersen and Laurence Fishburne. I would think that's awkward, but apparently it's more of a "passing-the-torch" situation. Laurence hopes to live up to the legacy of CSI, and he apparently includes CSI: Miami in that legacy. Good luck living up to David Caruso's high standards, Fishburne. They announce Best Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie and Tom Wilkinson wins it for John Adams! He played Ben Franklin! Damn -- he's not there. He's awesome.
9:44 - After a Hannity and Colmes joke from two of the Reality Biters (does it matter who, at this point?), Colbert and Stewart come out and make a joke comparing John McCain to a wrinkled old prune. Not bad, I guess. They announce the nominees for Directing for a Miniseries, Movie or Special, and Jay Roach wins for Recount, and has to get played off, despite having already won one of these. Writers are up next, with no time for jokes from C & S, and the writers of John Adams take it. Man, Paul Giamatti better win something, or -- yikes, they just cut that guy off and went to commercial in the middle of a political joke. That's pretty frickin' harsh.
9:51 - Beverly Hills Chihuahua! Turn it off, turn it off, turn it off!
9:53 - Howie Mandel reminds us that he used to be on St. Elsewhere, back when he had a career and self-respect. Then he reminds us that M*A*S*H was a much better show. Sandra Oh and Patrick Dempsey come out, and Oh tells us her parents lived through that war, and we're all sad. Then she makes a joke, and we're happy! They're announcing Best Supporting Actress in a Movie or Mini-Series, and the woman who wins it isn't here. I didn't catch the name. Anyone? No? Moving on.
9:56 - Don Rickles and Kathy Griffin come out, and Griffin demands a standing ovation for the Rickles. Rickles goes off prompter, and apparently when you do that, the prompter flashes to make you go back on. Fascinating! Rickles won an Emmy last week for something. They announce the Best Reality Television nominees, and it's a top-flight lineup. And Amazing Race wins it! For the sixth fricking year