8:54 - Overly dramatic reality show introduction and montage, to the tune of Britney Spears' "Circus." Yeah, that sounds about right. Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Karina Smirnoff from Dancing With the Stars and a bunch of So You Think You Can Dance dancers do their thing, and Jon Cryer and Hayden Panettiere come out to present the nominees for Reality Show Host: Padma Lakshmi, Jeff Probst, Heidi Klum, Tom Bergeron, Phil Keoghan and Ryan Seacrest. Probst wins, and tells NPH that "this is how you host the Emmys." For a second, I thought Probst was trying to say he would do a better job, then I realized that he was saying that NPH was doing an infinitely better job than he and his peers did last year. Which is clearly true. But then, anyone who can read off a teleprompter -- and thinks to put something on said teleprompter -- could do a better job than those people. What a train wreck that was.
9:06 - Tracy Morgan comes out to name the winner of Best Reality Program, and laments that the reality show he does with Tina Fey wasn't nominated. Awesome. I love that he perpetuates his own "I'm crazy" shtick. The Emmy goes to The Amazing Race which makes seven wins for seven nominations. That's pretty fricking incredible. NPH faux-praises the shattering of expectations tonight.
9:10 - A montage of TV Mini-Series and Movies, then Kevin Bacon and Kyra Sedgwick come out to present for Best Supporting Actress. (Nice "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" joke, NPH.) Shohreh Aghdashloo wins for House of Saddam and gives a very breathy speech that doesn't reference the fact that "House of Saddam" sounds like a clothing store, or possibly a pancake restaurant. They quickly move on to Best Supporting Actor, and Ken Howard wins for Grey Gardens. Presumably true fact from Hodgeman: Ken Howard started out as a page for The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson in the 1960s. Even more fun: He thanks the stuntwoman who gave him a kidney nine years ago.
9:22 - Kate Walsh was in something called Night of the Lawyers? Thank you, NPH! Walsh and Chandra Wilson give the Lead Actor in a Mini-Series or Movie award to Brendan Gleeson, who should win all awards, ever. Mad Eye Moody FTW!
9:25 - "Best Seat in the House" winner still doesn't have a good seat. Sad.
9:26 - Jennifer Love Hewitt and Patricia Arquette announce the winners for Writer and Director of a Mini-Series or Movie. Andrew Davies wins Writing for Little Dorrit, but isn't there. And Dearbhla Walsh wins for Directing the same thing. She's there, although her bra apparently isn't.