8:56 - John Hodgman introduces the Emmy accountants, who have all given up on dreams, and we officially give up on a Fallon intro where he doesn't hold a guitar, as he and Julianna Margulies sing in the Drama section. Man, this is a dramatic montage. Lots of crying, a ton of tense confrontations, some slow-motion walking and a big Lost spoiler. Hope you watched the season!
9:00 - Mariska Hargitay and Christopher Meloni introduce the Best Writer - Drama nominees, which automatically makes us think they're all pedophiles, and they talk about the best notes they ever got from the studios. Darlton apparently got a note that six toes on a statue was too weird, so they made it four toes. "Boo-yah," indeed. And the winner is the Mad Men writers who wrote "Shut the Door, Have a Seat." No strong argument here, though that lawnmower episode was pretty awesome, too.
9:05 - The Outstanding Supporting Actors in a Drama are Slattery, Paul, Short, O'Quinn, Braugher and Emerson, and Aaron Paul wins for Breaking Bad. So much for the always-reliable Martin Short voting block. That's how he won Best Actress at the 1984 Oscars. After Hodgman hilariously says that Paul's first TV memory was "loving Fraggle Rock," Paul goes up there and is over the moon. The dude loves Bryan Cranston. Like, loves loves. We, on the other hand, are so pumped for Aaron we're practically high on meth.
9:10 - More unfunny Twitter introductions, and Emily Deschanel and Nathan Fillion introduce Outstanding Supporting Actress in a drama. Christina Hendricks, Elisabeth Moss, Christine Baranski, Archie Panjabi, Sharon Gless and Rose Byrne are the nominees, and Archie Panjabi wins it! First time out of the box! On a related note, Archie Panjabi totally has the name of a 1940s archaeologist-adventurer.
9:12 - Outstanding Actor in a Drama would be a great competition between Kyle Chandler, Jon Hamm, Bryan Cranston, Matthew Fox, Michael C. Hall, Jon Hamm and Hugh Laurie... if Bryan Cranston didn't win it for the third year in a row. A shame, that. Chandler is God. One more year to get it right, Emmys, and Cranston won't be eligible.
9:15 - Ha! This Community sketch is... an Infiniti commercial. Boo-urns.
9:20 - Immediately following a commercial for Undercovers, the stars of Undercovers conveniencidentally tell us who won best Guest Actor and Actress in a Drama Series. It was John Lithgow, who was in pretty much every episode of Dexter last season, and Ann-Margret. They present Outstanding Directing in a Drama, and Steve Shill wins for Dexter. It's funny to see how the American nominees make jokes, and the foreign nominees go for heartfelt in their intro videos. Reverence for an awards show? Adorable!