9:24 - Fallon pulls out his best Elton John, Boyz II Men and Green Day to say good-bye to 24, Law & Order and Lost. While we love a good Boyz II Men reference, between this and the Springsteen, the whole thing smacks of Adam Sandler, really. Not even Weird Al Yankovic, who has never parodied a show more recent than 1978. Sandler. Not a compliment.
9:30 - Hi all! Mindy here. I'm watching the Emmys and not even hating them. I mean, the set looks like a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper and there are remotes floating in what appears to be vats of lube behind the presenters like some bad Tivo booth at CES, but this has been entertaining and the right people have been winning -- this is so great! Now let's cut back on the gay jokes, everybody! They are lazy!
9:31 - Oh, good. More Twitter intros. When are these going to stop?
9:32 - Tina Fey and Schue come out to tell us that Glenn Close is terrifying. True, very true. And... WTF? Kyra Sedgwick is the best lead dramatic actress in the land? This is the first old-school Emmy moment of the night. And I mean that as an insult.
9:34 - Variety clip show time! Hope this is better than the NBC/winners no one cares aboutgasm the reality montage was.
9:36 - Well, they included a lot of Tonight Show debacle jokes. How do you think it feels to be Conan, sitting there listening to them?
9:38 - The Variety category is so bizarre. Olympics, New Year's, Tonys, talk shows, stand-up specials, Christmas trees, everything ever. The Tonys won for variety writing, in case you care. Apparently you could see January Jones' butt for a second there as the Tony guys ran up to the stage, according to some of the people in this room. I saw nothing but Word.
9:46 - Ricky Gervais on stage to present. He is skinny now, but is he skinnier than the newly skinny Drew Carey? I kind of really want to know. Anyway, he's here making jokes about Kiefer and Mel Gibson being drunks (the latter getting one of the most genuine laughs of the night from the celebs in attendence), but he's not saying anything nearly as scandalous as he usually does. Whoa! Now he's giving the crowd beers! Gervais, what are you thinking? They are watching their carbs!
9:52 - The Daily Show beats The Tonight Show with Conan O'Brien for Variety Series, but it doesn't really matter anyway -- Conan can't legally disparage NBC in public for another few days, so there was never going to be a world-ending rant here.