Enterprise

It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to YesterTrek

By Keckler | Aired on 05.12.2005

These Are The Voyages… - Wow. I can't believe this is my last Enterprise recap. I feel a bit weird and a little empty. Since it's the end of a season and it's also the end of a show, I've got a bunch of...

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RECAPS, WEECAPS, AND MORE

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4-22 Recap	It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to YesterTrek These Are The Voyages… - Some Treks go out with a bang. This one goes out with a whimper. From the fans.	05.12.2005	D+	Keckler
Ep.	Title	Air/Pub'l	Grade	Author
4-21 Recap	Bye, Bye, Trekkie Terra Prime (2) - Baby Tri'Pol dies; Quantum makes another self-indulgent speech.	05.12.2005 05.16.2005	A	Keckler
4-20 Recap	Moonfaker Demons (1) - If you missed this episode, you missed the BEST of Enterprise that ever was. All I can say is: Trip and T'Pol have a baby and Mayweather has SEX! It was AWESOME!	05.05.2005 05.09.2005	N/A	Keckler
4-19 Recap	There Was an Evil Man Who Had An Evil Furrow In a Mirror, Darkly, Part II - Evil Leaper gets another weird accent, goes on a power trip, makes some bad speeches, and dies. And there was much celebrating throughout the land.	04.28.2005 05.04.2005	A	Keckler
4-18 Recap	Best. Episode. Ever. In a Mirror, Darkly, Part I - Enterprise got cancelled, and then they decided it was time to write good TV.	04.21.2005 04.25.2005	A+	Keckler
4-17 Recap	Girls Gone Green Bound - Trip and T'Pol are soul mates! Soooooooooooul maaaaaaaaates!	04.14.2005 04.19.2005	C-	Keckler
4-16 Recap	The Search for Phlox Divergence (2) - Quantum becomes a Klingon. And my brain doesn't explode, because I no longer have a brain.	02.24.2005 03.01.2005	D+	Keckler
4-15 Recap	Reed Cries When He Spies Affliction (1) - Quantum "walks" T'Pol through a mind-meld. And then I knew no more.	02.17.2005 02.23.2005	N/A	Keckler
4-14 Recap	Say Goodnight, Shran The Aenar (3) - After we meet and greet and defeat the Aenar, Trip hands in his notice and requests a transfer to a less-cancelled ship of the fleet.	02.10.2005 02.16.2005	C-	Keckler
4-13 Recap	I'm Sorry, Trip, I'm Afraid I Can't Do That United (2) - Quantum plays the hero. Again. The only difference is, this time he's a cancelled hero.	02.03.2005 02.08.2005	C+	Keckler
4-12 Recap	Technobabel Babel One (1) - The episode where Quantum puts assholishness to good use. For once.	01.27.2005 02.01.2005	B-	Keckler
4-11 Recap	It Takes A Lot to Laugh, It Takes A Trip to Die Observer Effect - Two Organians, who have a long way to go learn that the errand of mercy is not strained, let Hoshi and Trip die all in the name of science.	01.20.2005 01.24.2005	B-	Keckler
4-10 Recap	Mehdalus Daedalus - Dullest. Episode. Ever.	01.13.2005 01.17.2005	F	Keckler
4-9 Recap	Kir'Royala Kir'Shara (3) - Quantum performs the VULCAN FUCKING NECK PINCH and my hate has no bounds.	12.02.2004 12.06.2004	B	Keckler
4-8 Recap	Welcome To Planet Crack Whore Awakening (2) - Quantum still has SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA, and Keckler still hates him for it.	11.25.2004 11.30.2004	C-	Keckler
4-7 Recap	Enterprise IV: The Trip for T'Pol The Forge (1) - If May-Tell-That-Girl-To-Shut-Up beats someone up for calling him "tiny," I'm leaving.	11.18.2004 11.22.2004	B	Keckler
4-6 Recap	Wrath Of Retcon The Augments (3) - I feel ugly. Oh, so ugly. I feel ugly and frightful and vile! And I pity. Anyone who can't control their bile.	11.11.2004 11.15.2004	C+	Keckler
4-5 Recap	Flight of the Khannabees Cold Station 12 (2) - More scheming. More evidence to the contrary that the Khannabees are at all superior, except in repulsiveness. More beer.	11.04.2004 11.09.2004	C-	Keckler
4-4 Recap	Boredomland Borderland (1) - Boredomland, feels like I'm going to lose my mind. You just keep on pushing my snark over the boredomland.	10.28.2004 11.01.2004	C-	Keckler
4-3 Recap	Home on the Rage Home - Oh, give me a home where the CRACK WHORES do roam, where the captain and the captain go get laid. Where seldom is heard an inspiring word but the suits on the lot still get paid. Home, home on the rage, where the fear and the anti-hope do roam.	10.21.2004 10.25.2004	B-	Keckler
4-2 Recap	Silik Stalkings Storm Front, Part II - The only good Nazis are dead Nazis, so Quantum kills them.	10.14.2004 10.18.2004	F	Keckler
4-1 Recap	Ding Dong, Daniels is Dead! Storm Front, Part I - Nazis are evil, y'all.	10.07.2004 10.13.2004	C-	Keckler
3-24 Recap	Breaking the Furrow Zero Hour - Quantum saves the world. A lot.	05.25.2004 05.31.2004	A	Keckler
3-23 Recap	Hoshi Crack Code and I Sorta Care Countdown - Hoshi is tortured, and her friends eat steak.	05.18.2004 05.24.2004	B-	Keckler
3-22 Recap	In Sonar, No One Can Hear You. Period. The Council - Quantum testifies before the Xindi of the Round Table that he did not have sex with that woman, Miss Lewinsky; he doesn't know where the WMD are; and he doesn't remember funneling money to the Contras. Oh, and that Sphere Builders are bad.	05.11.2004 05.14.2004	B	Keckler
3-21 Recap	Back to the Furrow E² - The current Enterprise meets their fourth cousins twice removed.	05.04.2004 05.10.2004	C-	Keckler
3-20 Recap	Degra Dearest The Forgotten - Degra proves to be an Enterprise ally. The crew celebrates by rolling in dirt.	04.27.2004 05.03.2004	B-	Sara M
3-19 Recap	Jane's Addiction Damage - Quantum swabs decks, administers rum, and becomes a pirate. The eye patch is on backorder, along with T'Pol's next hit of Trellium-D.	04.20.2004 04.23.2004	B	Keckler
3-18 Recap	Imzadi Prime Azati Prime - Quantum sacrifices himself for the good of humanity, and then manages to screw humanity.	03.02.2004 03.07.2004	B-	Keckler
3-17 Recap	Buggy Dearest Hatchery - Quantum adopts some bugs at the local ASPCEgg.	02.24.2004 02.27.2004	B	Keckler
3-16 Recap	Phlox's Runaway Imagination Doctor's Orders - Phlox puts the crew in comas and invents himself an imaginary friend.	02.17.2004 02.20.2004	B+	Keckler
3-15 Recap	A Sexperiment in Criticism Harbinger - Trip and T'Pol do the nasty.	02.10.2004 02.13.2004	B-	Keckler
3-14 Recap	Flight Of The Simulator Stratagem - Quantum and a Xindi hole up in a space bunker and resist braiding each other's dreds.	02.03.2004 02.08.2004	B+	Keckler
3-13 Recap	Blue Swayed Crews Proving Ground - Quantum renews his relationship with Excedrin P.M. who does so well he gets a new moniker!	01.20.2004 01.25.2004	B	Keckler
3-12 Recap	Let That Be Your Last Bakulafield Chosen Realm - Quantum brings some religious freaks aboard, and they start blowing themselves up until he agrees to kill himself.	01.13.2004 01.16.2004	B-	Keckler
3-11 Recap	Carpenter Street Carpenter Street - Quantum and T'Pol take on Detroit.	11.25.2003 11.30.2003	B	Keckler
3-10 Recap	Trip's Brain Similitude - Trip is cloned and, oddly, has better luck with the ladies. But then he dies, so it all evens out.	11.18.2003 11.22.2003	B-	Keckler
3-9 Recap	Blazing Furrows North Star - Quantum has his Qrew circle their furrows as he saves an entire town from an asshat and has a profound effect on their future evolution.	11.11.2003 11.15.2003	B-	Keckler
3-8 Recap	Twilight in the Garden of Good and Better Twilight - Mr. Mike Sussman -- with the aid of Tom Paris directing and Scott Bakula acting (finally!) -- gives us an episode that knocks every other episode out of the Rose Bowl. And yes, messages for the Horseman of the Apocalypse can be left at my apartment.	11.04.2003 11.06.2003	A+	Keckler
3-7 Recap	A Horse! A Horse! My Boredom For A Horse! The Shipment - Quantum goes to a planet to learn more about the Xindi weapon. If that doesn't get across sufficiently how ass-crackingly boring this episode was, be happy you missed it.	10.28.2003 11.01.2003	N/A	Keckler
3-7 Recap	All Work And No Play Makes Keckler A Dull Girl All Work And No Play Makes Keckler A Dull Girl - All work and no play makes Keckler a dull girl. All work and no play makes Keckler a dull girl. All work and no play makes Keckler a dull girl. All work and no play makes Keckler a dull girl. All work and no play makes Keckler a dull girl.	10.31.2003 10.31.2003	N/A	Keckler
3-6 Recap	Hoshi and the Beast Exile - In a tale as dull as mime, Hoshi plays Beauty to a telepathic Beast who has designs on her for the rest of her life.	10.14.2003 10.16.2003	D+	Keckler
3-5 Recap	The Vulcansnatchers Impulse - T'Pol finds her personal kryptonite, and it brings out a rash.	10.07.2003 10.12.2003	B+	Keckler
3-4 Recap	A hand, a scan, a canal, Panama! Rajiin - Quantum adopts a stray sex slave who gives new meaning to the expression "the laying on of hands."	09.30.2003 10.03.2003	C-	Keckler
3-3 Recap	Unfrozen Caveman Captain Extinction - This is the one where we discover that the only way to get Bakula to stop furrowing is to slap some latex on him.	09.23.2003 09.29.2003	C-	Keckler
3-2 Recap	The Pirates of the Implants Anomaly - Quantum is very, very angry. Some alien pirates steal stuff off of the ship. Quantum is very, very angry. They get their stuff back from the pirates. Quantum is very, very angry. They come upon some Xindian information. Quantum is very, very angry.	09.16.2003 09.20.2003	B-	Keckler
3-1 Recap	Xinderella The Xindi - While Quantum and Reed deal with Pat the Androgynous Alien and his finger fetish, T'Pol and Trip rub nodes for mutual gratification.	09.09.2003 09.13.2003	B-	Keckler
2-26 Recap	Starfleet and Coffee, Maple Syrup and Damn The Expanse - In an anvil ripped from the headlines, Earth has a pre-emptive strike launched against it by some alien species with a Middle-Eastern-sounding name.	05.20.2003 05.25.2003	B-	Keckler
2-25 Recap	Booty Bounty - T'Pol gets false sex pains while locked in a small room with Phlox, and Quantum is featured on Kronos' Most Wanted.	05.13.2003 05.16.2003	F	Keckler
2-24 Recap	Fist Fight First Flight - Quantum relives his glory days of bar fights, making off with government property, and meeting Trip for the first time.	05.13.2003 05.15.2003	D+	Keckler
2-23 Recap	The Importance of Being Earnest Borgnine Regeneration - Quantum and Qrew encounter the Borg. Trekkies everywhere weep at the death of continuity.	05.06.2003 05.08.2003	B-	Keckler
2-22 Recap	A Slave's Narrative Cogenitor - Trip meddles with the reproductive practices of a tri-gendered species.	04.29.2003 05.02.2003	A	Keckler
2-21 Recap	Crazy Like A Phlox The Breach - Phlox rocks. Trip, Reed, and May-Chanko-Nabe Treklunk on the cave set. T'Pol needs cucumbers, and Quantum is a dick. Again.	04.22.2003 04.24.2003	A	Keckler
2-20 Recap	Home Is Where the Snark Is Horizon - A Very Special Episode, May-Punk returns to the familial fold, but is dismayed not to find a Nutri-Pak lamb roasting on a spit for him.	04.15.2003 04.18.2003	B	Keckler
2-19 Recap	Manura Penthe Judgment - Imagine rediscovering Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country and finding that it had been replaced by a soul-sucking Bermaga-magicked episode. Now, get drunk. Yes, that's about where I am as well.	04.08.2003 04.10.2003	D+	Keckler
2-18 Recap	Crossing Over and Out The Crossing - Wisps of vapor, or blobs of light, enter and re-enter Tucker, Reed, and other crew members. This pisses off Captain Quantum. Again. Some more.	04.01.2003 04.02.2003	C-	Alex Richmond
Mondo Extra	There Was A Freakish Man Who Had A Freakish Smile Star Trek, The Original Series: “The Corbomite Maneuver” - In this vintage piece of Star Trek history, Kirk finally meets that blue-faced alien in the closing credits, Spock shouts in iambic pentameter, Bones puts Kirk on a diet that obviously never takes, Uhura dresses in yellow to catch a fellow, and Sulu just begs to have his bra stuck in the freezer.	09.18.2013 03.17.2003	N/A	Keckler
2-17 Recap	Mallomar Canamar - The action was soft and marshmallowy, and the plot was like the chocolate I once left it in the cupboard above the stove and forgot about it until it turned chalky white around the edges. I got a craving and had nothing better around, so I ate it. It left a really bad taste in my mouth.	02.26.2003 03.01.2003	C-	Keckler
2-16 Recap	Future Nonsense Future Tense - The crew finds a mysterious pod with a John Doe cross-breed inside and start speculating all over the place. Two sets of aliens show up to lay claim to the pod, and get violently shirty when they meet Quantum's forbidding furrow. T'Pol considers cross-breeding.	02.18.2003 02.21.2003	C+	Keckler
2-15 Recap	Grease Fire Cease Fire - The Andorians are back to butt heads with the Vulcans. That Quantum is called in to referee all the head-butting serves only to complete my boredom.	02.11.2003 02.15.2003	C-	Keckler
2-14 Recap	Melded Cheese on Melda Toast Stigma - That cute little intrusion B'Stiller forced on T'Pol seems to have had deleterious effects. And Excedrin PM cannot come to the rescue on this one.	02.04.2003 02.08.2003	B-	Keckler
2-13 Recap	From Dusk 'Til Yawn Dawn - Trip and Don at Gas Giant. Trip, his chest hairy, his chest bare. Don, his eyes yellow, his mouth full of antibiotic spittle. Keckler, her head sore, her beer bottles depressingly dry.	01.07.2003 01.09.2003	D+	Keckler
2-12 Recap	Stormship Troopers The Catwalk - While being riders on the storm of the twenty-fourth century in the nacelles, Quantum and qrew leave themselves open to an alien boarding. Since he's gotten really out of practice, Quantum decides it's time for him to do a little heroic furrowing.	12.17.2002 12.21.2002	B+	Keckler
2-11 Recap	Kiss Me, Ingrate Precious Cargo - Trip, who IS from Florida, rescues a bit of crumpet from her crystal coffin, but as soon as he gets his Universal Translator working, he wishes he hadn't bothered. We all do.	12.10.2002 12.13.2002	F	Keckler
2-10 Recap	The Inner Light's Pox-Ridden Bastard Cousin Vanishing Point - Hoshi gets trapped in a world where she's doomed to wander for all eternity in a jog bra, but no one can see her to admire her skin. Except the viewers, of course.	11.26.2002 11.29.2002	F	Keckler
2-9 Recap	The Naked Then Singularity - Yet another Trek series seeks refuge in a storyline where the crew is afflicted by a weird illness that causes them to act comically. Bakula was actually good in this one -- or was that just the radiation sickness talking?	11.19.2002 11.22.2002	B+	Keckler
2-8 Recap	I Left My Communicator In San Francisco The Communicator - Quantum and Reed attempt to pick up where "A Piece Of The Action" left off. But in the past. And without the funny voices, mannerisms, and Spocko in a zoot suit, helping Kirk drive a "flivver." If Bermaga were going to borrow from the past (again!), couldn't they at least have made it good? JUST THIS ONCE?!	11.12.2002 11.14.2002	D+	Keckler
2-7 Recap	Seven of Whine The Seventh - In her past life, T'Pol visited H'zelden to purge her psyche of a pesky guilt complex, but when she starts experiencing flashbacks of murder most foul, Quantum becomes her therapist, shoulder to cry on, and bosom buddy. While T'Pol has multiple nervous breakdowns on a frozen planet, Trip, Reed, and Phlox pal around on the ship and discuss loose stools.	11.05.2002 11.08.2002	B-	Keckler
2-6 Recap	Moroners Marauders - Emboldened by a headband from Footloose, Quantum saves a dusty locale from pushy mineral rights blackmailers.	10.29.2002 10.31.2002	F	Keckler
2-5 Recap	Pets And Petulance A Night In Sickbay - Now that Quantum's got the Furrowing Butt Chump down pretty well, for his next trick, maybe he can be a captain.	10.15.2002 10.20.2002	N/A	Keckler
2-4 Recap	Maximum Over(warp)drive Dead Stop - Stephen King is no longer writing novels, because he decided to write for Enterprise. Okay, not really, but it was still the best episode they've done yet, what with the dead people and the Evil Service Station and the actual acting.	10.08.2002 10.13.2002	A	Keckler
2-3 Recap	Starship Mine Minefield - Nothing brings two men together quicker than the disarming of an anti-starship device, discussing bodily functions, and staring Death in the face long enough to tell him he's got bad breath.	10.01.2002 10.04.2002	B-	Keckler
2-2 Recap	A Vulcan's Tale Carbon Creek - Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, there was a pointy Vulcan, who walked a pointy mile and fell in love with a human for awhile.	09.24.2002 09.26.2002	C+	Keckler
2-1 Recap	Search For Yesterday Shockwave, Part II - Quantum and Daniels plagiarize Spock and Data's books in "City on the Edge of Forever" and "Time's Arrow" as they make use of local resources, plus a few gadgets conveniently brought from Enterprise, to press The Big Temporal Reset Button In The Sky.	09.17.2002 09.20.2002	B-	Keckler
1-26 Recap	Quantum Leap of Faith of the Heart Shockwave, Part I - Another show, another cliffhanger. Quantum has to play Time Bandits with Dead Man Walking Daniels in order to understand some level of engineering and get out of a sticky situation with the mass destruction of a colony. And to keep myself entertained, I pull more Withnail and I references out of my butt that are largely going to go over the heads of my readership.	05.21.2002 05.27.2002	A	Keckler
1-25 Recap	Bad Moon Risan Two Days And Two Nights - When they all downloaded their individual travel guides for shore leave, Mayweather chose The Idiot's Guide to Risa, Quantum got Lonely Planet, Trip and Reed shared Cheap Eats and Sleeps, and Hoshi got off without one. Back on the ship, Phlox got under the covers and made T'Pol read Goodnight, Moon.	05.14.2002 05.18.2002	B	Keckler
1-24 Recap	Like sands through my beer glass Desert Crossing - After an offal bad experience with Rocky Mountain oysters, Trip and Quantum decide not to get involved in a land war over a few drip castles, instead going out to work on their tans. But wouldn't you know it, Trip starts trippin', and Quantum has to force-feed him radon-tainted water while ordering him around a lot. T'Pol launches a search party and explains the finer points of the Montana outback to Hoshi.	05.07.2002 05.13.2002	B	Keckler
1-23 Recap	A Hero Ain't Nothing But A Sandwich Fallen Hero - While providing amnesty for a disgraced Vulcan ambassador, we discover that Quantum's got a whole closetful of Furrowed Brows we haven't seen yet. Linwood from Angel warps in, just as slimy as ever, to show us his new hairdo. Trip frantically slaps band-aids on the engine as they push warp five, and Reed casually mentions that he likes shooting other people. On Brown-Noser Deck, T'Pol spends a lot of the episode apologizing to the Ambassador for the way Hoshi's quarters smell, and Phlox cries.	05.07.2002 05.10.2002	C+	Keckler
1-22 Recap	Mucus of Borg Vox Sola - After offending ANOTHER alien race -- how many does that make? I can't count that high -- Enterprise is infiltrated by a mucus plug that squats in a cargo bay, ensnaring random crewmen in its glutinous strands. Luckily, one of the ensnared is Quantum, who embarks on a diluted water polo allegory, forcing the still-conscious crewmembers into comas, until he manages to bore himself catatonic. In other news, Reed applies for a patent, Phlox gives a dissection lesson, Hoshi and T'Pol make sweet algorithms, and May-Witness-To-The-Execution shows us why he's better off phoning in his lines.	04.30.2002 05.04.2002	B	Keckler
1-21 Recap	You Can Call Me Al Detained - In a rather predictable and forced storyline, Mayweather and Quantum must confront and overcome their aversion to the Suliban complexion as they find themselves birds of a feather, flocking together a bit. Shadows of "Shadows of P'Jem," anyone? The Dean of Quantum's previous life Leaps in for a guest spot and some latex treatment on his nose.	04.29.2002 04.30.2002	B-	Keckler
1-20 Recap	Night of the Living Dread Oasis - To-day is gonna be the day that they're gonna find out what's true / By now Odo should've somehow realized what he's gotta do / Trip doesn't believe that anybody feels the way he does about her now / Backbeat the word was on the street that the blood in their body's out / Quantum's sure he's heard it all before but he still had to use the pout / And all the skies they warp along are winding / And all the stars that lead them there are blinding / There are many things that I would like to say to you but I don't know how / Because maybe, this will be the one that brains me / And after all / Trek's my wonderbawl.	04.02.2002 04.07.2002	C	Keckler
1-19 Recap	Raiders of the Lost Vault Acquisition - The crew gets knocked out by mysterious aliens with butt-shaped heads, who turn Quantum into their beast of burden and long to make T'Pol their sex slave, while Trip displays the latest line of panties from Victoria's Secret's Men in Space line.	03.26.2002 03.31.2002	B	Keckler
1-18 Recap	A Private Little Hunt Rogue Planet - Without any real understanding of the situation or players involved, Quantum helps an indigenous alien species he knows bubkes about -- except that it can show up as a pretty lady in a negligee -- to combat another species he knows even less about. What that man doesn't know could fill a black hole. The rest of the cast stands around being conscientious objectors to the Plot Movement, but we do find out that Mathra and Reed both have twenty-eight merit badges and the captain only twenty-six. Nyah!	03.19.2002 03.25.2002	D+	Keckler
1-17 Recap	The Inner Fright Fusion - On their way to yet another astrological wonder of Quantum's childhood, the crew runs across some sitar-playing, caftan-wearing, acid-dropping Vulcans. When Quantum's not preoccupied with sticking his big gin blossom into everyone else's business, he's making Trip do it for him, while T'Pol holes up in her room to perform a mind-altering experiment with Ben Stiller's Vulcan twin.	02.26.2002 03.04.2002	C+	Keckler
1-16 Recap	Strifeboat Shuttlepod One - Trip and Reed perform a field experiment to test the hypothesis that, under the right circumstances, they would use their last breath to bicker.	02.12.2002 02.18.2002	F	Strega
1-15 Recap	Stuck Inside Of Coridan With The P'Jem Blues Again Shadows Of P'Jem - Trip grates. Reed infiltrates. T'Pol rotates. Quantum gyrates. Hoshi prevaricates. Phlox medicates. Mayflower vacates, and Keckler continues to stagnate.	02.05.2002 02.09.2002	C	Keckler
1-14 Recap	Holier ThanThou Sleeping Dogs - Reed, T'Pol, and Hoshi are stranded on a Klingon ship where Reed plays with a new kind of torpedo, and T'Pol shows Hoshi the Vulcan Way. Back on Enteprise, Quantum studies the Klingon culture and Trip stands around making dumb comments, while Phlox ties a female alien to a bed. Kinky stuff. It gets even kinkier when you bring all the random plot holes into it. Okay, it really doesn't, but I made you look.	01.29.2002 02.04.2002	F	Keckler
1-13 Recap	Doctor's Day Dear Doctor - Pssst! Hey! Yeah, you! C'mere, I gotta tell you something. Okay, you ready? Enterprise didn't suck this week. Shhh! I know, I know! The story line has been done before, and Reed was virtually nonexistent, but still, Quantum's God complex is showing signs of going into remission, and Hoshi trickled a bit more out of minor-character-hood. So anyway, pass it on!	01.22.2002 01.27.2002	C+	Keckler
1-12 Recap	Cannon in D-fense Silent Enemy - What can you get the man in your life who has all the phase pistols, torpedoes, and minor explosions his little heart desires? Resequenced protein, obviously. El Capitan Quantanamo orders Hoshi on a top-secret mission to discover Reed's favorite foodstuffs, while the rest of the crew wastes time fighting Praying Mantis aliens who manage to use the humans' mother tongue against them.	01.15.2002 01.22.2002	B-	Keckler
1-11 Recap	Tempus fudges-it Cold Front - In a story arc that rivals the convolutions of my small intestine, the Enterprise crew receives a visitor from the future. Hint: It's not Michael J. Fox. In other news, Porthos proves his worth above diamonds, Reed marries me, and Trip can't stop showing people his warp core. Meanwhile, Phlox finds a bit of religion, and Quantum entertains Heaven's Gate. Turning to the police blotter, the crew is hauled in and charged with breaking several laws of physics. Again.	11.27.2001 12.02.2001	F	Keckler
1-10 Recap	Play Dom Jot, Hu-mon! Fortunate Son - Trailing extensive morals, Enterprise rushes to the rescue of a barge vessel after a Nausicaan attack. Mayflower gets back in touch with his "boomer" roots, while T'Pol plays nice with children. Trip's face-time was fairly short and his lines were blessedly shorter, but it does look like Reed made friends with the bronzing cream this time week. Special cuteness appearance by Porthos the Dog.	11.20.2001 11.25.2001	C-	Keckler
1-9 Recap	Nobs And Nonsense Civilization - Dude. T'Power Ranger is just rising in Keckler's estimation after this episode, and that can only be a sign of the Apocalypse. But we'll go with it because it's making Keckler happy. Let's see -- not enough Reed, so that means double Keckler's Earl Grey quotient this week; Hoshi had good hair, but we didn't see it nearly enough even when there was crucial a point when Quantum started hearing Pig Latin; Trip stayed out from underfoot for the most part; and Quantum got a little hot alien love. Well, it wasn't that hot. Like, Keckler still has her stomach contents.	11.13.2001 11.19.2001	C-	Keckler
1-8 Recap	Here Comes The Bride, Siliconed, Green, And Snide Breaking The Ice - T'Pol's nuptial hour draws on apace but o! methinks how fast this new show wanes. But soft! What wind through yonder ass breaks? It is the Captain, and Quantum is that name which by any other would still stink at his job. Mayweather and Reed are as chaste as ice, as pure as snow, but shalt not escape calamity. Get thee to a poddery, go! Was there ever a recapper that hath drunk so much Post Road as I today?	11.06.2001 11.12.2001	C-	Keckler
1-7 Recap	Scent of a Vulcan The Andorian Incident - I'm attempting to pick up the shattered pieces of my expectations and paste my faith back together, but since I only have this episode to use as a fixative, I don't think I'm getting anywhere fast. It sucked. It was stupid, boring, contrived, trite, and predictable beyond all possibly lousy belief. The Blue Man Group arrives at some Vulcan monk-hole and delivers bruises all around. There's some finagling and a "surprise" ending. Oh, and this episode was brought to you by Degree. I mean really, what was with all the comments about B.O.? I loathed this last hour of television so much, it made me miss Voyager.	10.30.2001 11.06.2001	F	Keckler
1-6 Recap	Friendship 2 1/2 Terra Nova - Once upon a time, there was this colony and it got lost. And there was some radiation. It was bad. Then it got found. And it was good.	10.23.2001 10.29.2001	C-	Keckler
1-5 Recap	Cap'n Don't Preach Unexpected - 'Cuz he's not keepin' the alien. Trip's called upon in the line of booty to repair some warp coils on an alien ship where the crew eats the walls, grows grass on the floor, and utilizes other mind-altering devices. Trip returns with a bun in the oven and no clue how it happened. I'd mention the rest of the crew, but TPTB seem to have forgotten their existence. It all just teaches you to keep your fingers in your own pebbles.	10.16.2001 10.22.2001	B	Keckler
1-4 Recap	Requiem For A Transporter Beam Strange New World - An away team is sent to an uninhabited world, but things get trippy with some psychotropic pollen.	10.09.2001 10.11.2001	C+	Omar G
1-3 Recap	The Worm Turns Fight Or Flight - In space, life can get kinda dull. Especially when there's no need for quality DeCon time. But be careful what you wish for. Our stir-crazy crew stumbles upon an abandoned ship and finds some pretty sketchy experiments going on. Naturally, they must do some meddling and some butting in until they get caught with their hand in the cookie jar by a big, scary looking spaceship that decides Enterprise should be its next science fair project. I don't remember what else happened, because I fell asleep. Read the recap; it should bring you up to warp speed.	10.02.2001 10.08.2001	C+	Keckler
1-1 Recap	Yesterday's Enterprise Broken Bow - Just sit right back and you'll read a snark,/A snark of a cosmic trip/That started from a stellar port/Aboard this new starship./The mate was a skanky Vulcan chick,/The skipper brash with pride./The astronauts set warp that day/For a three-hour ride, a three-hour ride./The Klingon started getting loud,/The Suliban were shrewd,/If not for the courage of the fearless crew /The mission would be screwed, the mission would be screwed./No cloak, no shields, no chamber pots,/Not a single phaser store/Like Robinson Crusoe,/As ancient as of yore./So join us here each week, my pals,/You're sure to shout with glee,/At seven horny space cowboys,/Here on Mighty Big TV!	09.25.2001 10.01.2001	B	Keckler