Enterprise
Acquisition

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Raiders of the Lost Vault

The show opens and there's a shot of Enterprise hanging wamperjawed in space. This is how we know that There Is Something Wrong. Four Ferengi -- speaking in untranslated Ferengese -- observe the hung starship from a distance before attaching their scarab-like ship to its side.

Mathra scoops Poppadum up and waltzes around the room with her to the theme song until she takes a swipe at his nose.

Wearing masks over their mouths and noses, the Ferengi board Enterprise, where the whole crew appears to be knocked out -- if their lying-around-on-the-floor postures is anything to go by. One Ferengi stoops to measure one of the humans' ears with his fingers and seems to be making a derisive comment in Ferengese. In Engineering, two Ferengi collapse a device, oozing with vapor -- we can assume this is the stuff that put everyone to sleep -- and observe T'Pol lying on the ground. Noting the shape of her ears, one Ferengi strokes them and goes into minor paroxysms of ecstasy. He's remonstrated by the other Ferengi, and they leave Engineering. In a turbolift, a Ferengi checks some readings and, satisfied by what he reads, takes off his mask, as do the others. Now, we gotta think that B&B are just taking the piss here, because they know that their fans will know that the Ferengi really aren't anything to be afraid of. Right? Right.

Sporting his Tick Underoos, Trip has draped his carcass over some light source on the floor of the DeCon chamber -- ankles daintily crossed -- just chillin' out. "Doc, innit my time up yet?" he calls. No answer. He gets up and knocks on the closed viewer window. I have a question -- well, I have several, but we'll just start with this one and see how much energy I have left. Why is he even wearing the Underoos? Not that I want him totally nekkid, but if the reasoning for being scantily clad in DeCon is so all the space buggies get vaporized away, shouldn't you be completely nude to do a thorough job of it? I'm just asking. There's no response to me or to Trip, so he goes to the comm panel and says, "You said twennie minnits. It's bin at least an hour. I'm gittin' a little well-done in here." The camera pans to show Phlox in Sick Bay. Since I believe the DeCon chamber is not near Sick Bay but adjacent to the shuttle bay, I'm thinking that when Trip pressed the comm button, he was calling Sick Bay, and that's why, while he's yapping, our POV is there. There's still no answer, so he does the only obvious thing and shorts the fuse so the door opens. He runs around the ship, sees all his snoozing comrades, and checks the pulse on quite a few. Just an excuse to make him squat in those Mighty Tight Panties of his.

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Enterprise

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