I'm sorry, there's a lot of blood and gray matter on my keyboard now and some of the keys are sticking together and I just have this massive head trauma and it sort of hurts so I think I'm going to have to lie down for awhile and drink some water.

Okay, I'm a little better, but I really think it's beyond the pale to expect me to RECAP QUANTUM FUCKING WALKING A VULCAN THROUGH A MIND-MELD JUST BECAUSE HE CARRIED SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA FOR A FEW DAYS!! Oh, dear, I think I just reopened a crack. Excuse me, I think I'm gonna need a Band-Aid. And a FEW HUNDRED TABS OF ACID!

Well, I checked with Sars and she pointed me to the clause in my contract that says I have to recap the show no matter how insulting, how insane, or how spirit-killing. That being the case, I have a c-clamp holding my brain in and a gin drip that increases in flow as soon as I start to get heart palpitations, so I think I'm good for now.

"You?" T'Pol says, holding it together much better than I, because if I had had him standing right in front of me, I would have ripped those furrows right off his head, stuffed half up his nose, and fed the other half to Porthos. "I had Surak's [fucking] katra in my head for four days -- I picked up a couple of tricks," Quantum says, once again insulting the ENTIRE RACE OF VULCAN PEOPLES BY DENIGRATING A SACRED ACT TO THE LEVEL OF SOMETHING A PROSTITUTE OR DAVID BLAINE DOES! Ahh, lovely gin flowing into my veins. So clean. So nice. Wipes all the badness away. Mmmmmmm. Oh, and that C I mentioned earlier? Yeah, well, guess what -- you just got downgraded. Blame Quantum.