Columbia in hairclip. The steward places pieces of pie (and I dew b'leeve it's pe-can pah!) in front of Trip and Cpt. Happy Pants. "I don't know who's in charge of your Mess Hall, but he could give the chef on Enterprise a run for his money," Trip says. That's nice -- taking pot shots at a man that only has legs and no upper body to speak of. I call that really disloyal. Cpt. Happy Pants smugs, "I stole him from the Republic -- Captain Jennings said I could have anything I wanted when I left, so I took his cook." No, you misunderstood -- he said you could have anything you wanted if you left. Cpt. Happy Pants tells Trip she's gotten two transfer requests from members of his department, but she doesn't think it's professional to tell him who they are since she denied them. "Quite an impression you've made, Commander," Cpt. Happy Pants goes on. "You've been aboard less than two days and already some of your team want to jump ship." Trip shrugs that he's had to "knock a few heads together" but they're getting stuff done and will be ready for warp trials soon. Cpt. Happy Pants tries to get inside his head by saying she's surprised he accepted the transfer: "I saw an interview with you after the Xindi Mission -- you said you couldn't see yourself serving on any other starship." Yeah, but you know that Katie Couric Stasis Unit -- she can really twist your words. Trip says, "I was getting a little too comfortable on Enterprise. Got a lot of friends over there but..." But you were getting a little too comfortable with your friends over there, isn't that right, Trip? "...Sometimes it's easier to just to work with people who are just colleagues." Cpt. Happy Pants takes all this in and wonders if it's a good time to order him to tell her if Quantum ever talked about her after their rock climbing sexpedition, and if that means Quantum likes her likes her or just likes her.
Enterprise. T'Pol meditates. Her mind goes to a big white space where Trip is walking around thinking, "How the hell did I get into 'Tapestry'? That's a good episode!" T'Pol gets up from her cross-legged position in the white space and asks why Trip is there. "Iys about to ask yew the same thang," Trip retorts. "This a daydream?" T'Pol tells him she's meditating and the white space is where she goes in her mind. Her happy place is a Beatles album? Trip harshes on her happy place by saying he'd have thought she'd pick a more interesting place, "like the beach or one of those fie-er plains you showed me." "Please leave," T'Pol says without looking at him. Trip spreads his arms apart and asks where 'zackly he's supposed to go. "Away," T'Pol explains. "This is my daydream, you go away!" Trip says, and a voice from the outside, which might be God, says, "'Scuse me, Commander, is everything all right?" Trip snaps back to his reality on Columbia and says everything's fine. Whatever -- they've never even mind-melded but we're supposed to believe that they are so in looooove that they're sharing some sort of psychic link? Please -- what fourth grader came up with that plausibility study? In her room, T'Pol looks disturbed. Quantum calls her to the Bridge. Doesn't she put a "do not disturb" sign on her comm when she's meditating? Previous episodes led us to believe how vital her meditation is to her overall well-being. Maybe all the rules go out the window when you become a CRACK WHORE.