Enterprise
Affliction (1)

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Reed Cries When He Spies

Quantum's Ready Room. T'Pol reports that the black box was erased deliberately, and Hoshi says it was erased by the microdyne coupler that Quantum's now holding in his hand. It was found in storage locker C-14 along with a pair of Klingon-blood-spattered magnetized boots. And the name on the locker was "Dax." But it wasn't that Dax, nor was that connection ever explained, because some things are better when they AREN'T explained or used as the PLOT of TWO FULL EPISODES. Hoshi says the last person to access that locker was Reed. See? He SUCKS as a spy! I mean, how much stupider can you get?

Quantum slides the microdyne coupler over to Reed, who says, "I'm not quite sure what you're getting at, sir." Apparently, a LOT stupider. God, give it up, Reed -- as much as I know you'll miss the wigs and makeup, you're no Sydney Bristow. They fence a bit with Reed looking so shifty-eyed, it's like he's watching a tennis match in fast forward. After Reed swears he's sure it was Orion weapons that attacked the freighter, Quantum says he had T'Pol check his work and she discovered that his pants are seriously on fire. And not in the good way. Reed compounds his stupidity by trying to stand his ground and maintain the impossible, suggesting that someone else tampered with his logs. Because shifting the blame to someone else on board is admirable and a good thing to do. Quantum wants to know what the hell is going on. Reed is silent. Quantum orders him to answer. "Respectfully, sir, I refuse to answer any more questions," Reed says, handing back the microdyne coupler. Quantum goes to take the coupler but grabs Reed by the forearm and yanks him in for a kiss. Or maybe it was just to hiss, "I never would've believed that you of all people..." He leaves us hanging as to what he would believe. Quantum orders an Uh-Oh to escort Reed to the Brig of Throat-Grabbing. Reed looks like he's about to cry, but leaves without another whine. He pauses to look at Quantum's furrowed profile and continues on. Now Quantum is the one who looks like he's about to cry. Tears of furrow. Tears of pain.

Brig of Throat-Grabbing. No sooner does he send Reed there than Quantum has to pay him a visit. Because he just can't stay away. Quantum tells him that they are about to enter the ever-dangerous Klingon space, and that if Reed knows where Phlox is, now would be a good time to pony up. Reed insists he doesn't know where the doctor is: "On that you have my word." Quantum snaps back with inevitable comment on the exact worth of Reed's word. Reed is sad. Quantum decides he can't keep his hands from Reed's smooth, swan-like throat, and enters the cell. He stands there, repositions his feet to adapt a Captainly Stance, and says, "The Malcolm Reed I know would give his life before committing treason." Reed jumps up to insist that he's not working for the Klingons, but he won't say who he is working for. "You betrayed everything that uniform stands for," Quantum says, and goes to leave. Reed stops him and labors out, "There are some...obligations that go beyond my loyalty to you and this crew." Quantum nods the Uh-Oh away who leaves them alone. Together. Alone. Quantum wants to know what the hell that means. "I cahn't say anymore!" Reed whimpers. "You haven't said ANY-thing!" Quantum blusters. Oh, but he has -- he said he "cahn't" say anything. Caaaahhhn't. Sigh -- do I need to spell it out for you? CAAAAAHHHHHHHN'T! See, it's like a little clue. A little clue that my gin I.V. is drained and I need another bottle stuck in. Quantum throws Reed's father in his face and wonders what he will think when he learns that Reed is facing court martial. "I wouldn't know, sir," Reed practically sobs. My god, he is THE WORST SPY EVER! Mention his father and he goes to pieces! Quantum leaves Reed to bury his face in his hands and wonder when the horrific torture will end.

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