Enterprise

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | 235 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Pirates of the Implants

T'Pol finds a doorbell that's made of the same stuff the Osaarians hull was made up of. Enterprise can't fit through, but a sh'pod can. And will.

Sh'pod. May-Commented-Out is behind the wheel, and the Uh-Ohs are in the back perfecting their brush strokes. Reed fusses over some technicalities and finds the locking mechanism. Quantum fires at the locking mechanism, and the doors open. That was pretty damn easy. I think the Bad Breath Star needs to call Brinks Home Security. The sh'pod flies in. There are multi-level cool effects inside, but I always have a hard time making out exactly what some of these things are supposed to be from such a distant vantage point. They find some modules with a breathable atmosphere and dock. "Let's hope nobody is home," Reed comments. I was saying that when you guys went in without knocking first -- how is it that this thing isn't fully loaded with masses of tripwires, alarms, and the like? They blowtorch their way through another door and walk around. Quantum notes the piles of stuff inside and says, "They've been busy." He orders everyone to search all the modules for their purloined stuff. Reed and female Uh-Oh pair up. "They're not going to run out of stembolts any time soon," Reed says, looking at something. But are they self-sealing? And what a sweet shout-out to DS9! Although, I gotta wonder what happens to stembolts in the future if no one -- not even O'Brien -- really knows what the hell they are. Reed finds Starfleet ration packs lying around.

In another module, Quantum violently shoves stuff around. I think the Uh-Oh is laughing at him. May-Commented-Out says he found something.

In another module. May-Commented-Out finds what he thinks is a cargo manifest. Quantum tells him to download what he can for Hoshi, and tell T'Pol they need more treasure hunters.

In another module. More searching.

Bridge. Hoshi gets to work on the cargo manifest.

In another module. May-Commented-Out finds torpedoes.

Transporter room. Although it's not exactly a room; it's more of a hallway. Sort of a transporter alcove, if you will. Stuff is beamed up and carted away. There are containers on the pad that look exactly like the ten-gallon stockpots we used at school! How funny -- maybe they're Chef's. Cargo holds are restocked.

Sickbay. Trip comes gasping in because he burned his hand on a reactor. Phlox gets some salve and a swab. "I culda sworn that injector was empty -- I must be getting a little punchy," Trip says. Phlox asks him when the last time was that he had his nodes nobbled. Trip admits to only having the one session, and attributes the lack of noding off to having no time. Phlox hints that Trip's a scaredy-cat. Trip denies this easily, and says he just can't afford to spend an hour in T'Pol's quarters every night. "Can't you jest give me another one of those injections?" Trip asks. Phlox denies him his valerian, saying, "They're not meant to be taken for extended periods." Phlox comes up with another treatment for Trip. This is going to be good. Phlox holds up a water-filled jar with black things snaking around in it. "Aldeberon mud leeches!" Phlox announces gleefully. "What am I supposed to do with them?" Trip asks, almost before Phlox finishes speaking. His delivery was perfect, and very funny. You know, I love Phlox, I really do, but his obsession with leeches needs to go. I mean, I get the whole medieval-doctors-used-leeches-and-isn't-it-ironic-to-be-using-them-this-far-in-the-future thing, but can't we mix it up a bit with equally repulsive results? How about dung beetles? Or silverfish? Or crane flies? I know they eat mosquitoes, but those things freak the pants off me! Phlox explains the leech application: "Place one on your chest and one on your abdomen an hour before going to bed. Their secretions act as a natural sedative. Oh, uh, please be careful to sleep on your back" -- Trip looks fearful -- "if you roll over you might anger them." That reminds me of when Ross goes to get his "fancier than a pimple" thing looked at on Friends and Guru Sage does something to "anger it." "Mebbe an hour a night with T'Pol izzint so bad," Trip decides.

Enterprise

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP