Enterprise
Anomaly

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B- | Grade It Now!
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The Pirates of the Implants
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I'm not in a good mood. The agonizing fact that I have to rewatch this banausic blob of an episode is compounded by the fact that my iBook is in the shop, and by some complicated set-up -- that minimizes visual perception and maximizes back and neck pain -- I have to use my husband's PC. However, I have amended my earlier comment that this episode bored the checked pants off me, because some of the action, though predictable, wasn't that bad. BUT I still think these writers (hereafter referred to as "the poor, stifled writers") produced something that is far from satisfactory. People, I've been inundating myself with second-season Deep Space Nine, first-season The West Wing, and all manner of Farscape this summer -- don't tell me I don't know good TV.

A few "for instances": I didn't like how they handled the Chronicle of a Death Crewmanned part. I'm not saying they should have had a whole mopey funereal episode, à la Tasha Yar, but they didn't do anything, and it just fell flatter than a two-liter of Diet Coke left open in the San Francisco sun. Furthermore, Quantum's bounced around as Angry Unfun Ball in these last two episodes, but it's not he who lost his sister in the attack on Florida, it's Trip, and I see Quantum's anger mismanagement as ringing very hollow because of that. In fact, I resent that, by virtue of its existence, Quantum's anger has become another character on the show. An annoying, overused, overpaid, overemphasized character that walked on for the hell of it and convinced the director that his presence was necessary and vital to the story. Meanwhile, the characters I would like to care about -- if they were ever given the Keys to the Development Kingdom -- aren't getting squat.

Quantum puts in some desk time. Porthos (aww, Porthos!) lies on a cushion on the floor and whimpers. With a coldly disinterested look, Quantum glances at him briefly. Porthos whimpers again, this time getting to his feet, and howls a bit. Finally, Quantum says, "Come here." But without any hint of affection or kindness in his tone. I know they're trying to make Quantum all Angry Man Bad-Ass, but does it have to extend to being a prick to his puppy? Porthos runs over to his person and eagerly puts his paws on Quantum's arm. "What's the problem?" Quantum asks stonily. That's it -- I'm putting Quantini back into his box because there is no way I can be a Kinder, Gentler Keckler to this lout. No. Way. There's a thump as the camera shows that a book fell on the floor. Quantum replaces it and looks around.

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Enterprise

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