Enterprise

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C | 338 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Welcome To Planet Crack Whore

Vulcan. Dub'ya gets word that Enterprise is staying put, and orders his people to keep monitoring them. Dub'ya frets that they can't go ahead with their bombing of Fallujah -- erm, "The Geordi" until Enterprise leaves orbit. "You're concerned about witnesses," Linwood notes. Dub'ya reveals that he's been also listening in on their communications and intends to find out what is making them disobey a direct order from Starfleet. What is the point of these other Vulcans in the room? All they do is stand there and look completely blank while Dub'ya and Linwood have words. They piss me off with their inactivity.

The Geordi. While T'Pau makes with the ritualistic babble, Quantum kneels in some stone thing that looks like something they ripped off from a construction site. Strategic Lightning flashes and crashes at strategically appropriate times in the ritualistic babble. T'Pau basically asks that SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA live on in her. She places her hands on Quantum's head and presses her fingers into his forehead. Mind the furrows -- one could lose a fingernail in those. T'Pau speaks Vulcan, which makes me wonder why she hasn't been speaking Vulcan all along. There's a flash, and we see SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA leaning against a pillar. Quantum reacts in pain. T'Pol tries to move forward, but T'Ma holds her back. There are a few more flashes before Quantum is fully pulled back into the Sepia Crap of SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA. SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA doesn't looks so good, and Sepia Quantum realizes it's the radiation poisoning from all the bombs and shit. SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA blithers that as Quantum is untouched by the problems that went before, he needs to be the one to save the Vulcans. To help them find the Kir'Shara. Where are the wormhole aliens so Quantum can explain what time is to them and I can finally be cured of my life-long insomnia? Not that Quantum could explain time to them, but still, if they're going to rip shit off, they might as well go whole hog. Half hog isn't nearly enough bacon to make me happy. Back in The Geordi, T'Pau can't get a grip on Quantum's furrows, and the ritual ends. Quantum rolls to the ground. T'Pol rushes to his side all breathily with the "Captain!" T'Pau rasps to T'Ma that SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA wasn't looking to move. T'Pol cradles Quantum's face in her lap as she glares up at T'Ma.

Enterprise

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