Enterprise

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C | 338 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Welcome To Planet Crack Whore

Enterprise. "Ah cain't beleeve they threw yew owt!" Trip drawls in anger as he makes himself right to home stalking around the captain's Ready Room. Soval stands there and calmly says he knew the risks. Trip wants him to fight the dismissal, but Soval denies such a thing can be done. Soval says they have other more important things to deal with, and reveals that Dub'ya plans to wipe out all the Syrrannites hiding in the Geordi. Trip reminds us, even though we JUST saw them there, that Quantum and T'Pol are also in the Geordi. Soval turns away from Quantum's Weight of the World Window to intone, "They may be in grave danger." Maybe it's the WOTWW window that makes all gazers incurably stupid and doomed to repeat the freakin' obvious. It's probably something in the cleaning fluid -- they should really get Method. Oh, my, but do I love that stuff! I went on a spree at the Geary store and got candles and sprays and dryer sheets and bathroom wipes (they're for sinks, sicko!) and I've never been so excited about cleaning in my life! My little sister thinks I'm completely nuts, but I just adore my pink grapefruit all-purpose cleaner so much that it makes me want to clean every day. Plus, it's good for the environment and it's cheap! In fact, I think I'll go clean the bathroom right now. What? You're saying I have to finish this first? Fine. No, that's fine, just keep me from enjoying life and take away all my fun. I'll get over it. Maybe I'll even buy some Method laundry detergent as a reward for getting through this episode. Yeah, yeah! Ooh, I'm excited now!

The Geordi. T'Pol is escorted to T'Ma, where they have a little mother-daughter chat. T'Pol can't understand why her mother would take up with such a group of freaks. T'Ma defends herself and says that the Vulcan High Command has a lot to answer for in recent years. She cites the suppression of dissidents and the listening post at P'Jem as being two of the most egregious acts. So, the Syrrannites are sort of like an Al-Gooda? T'Ma didn't tell her daughter this on her last and matrimonial visit because she wanted to keep T'Pol safe from the High Command, who was just starting to hunt the dissidents down. And she just wanted to marry her off so she could have Trip all to her matronly self. "I know your marriage to Frank Lloyd Vulcan was for my sake -- to help me regain my post," T'Ma says. "I don't want your apologies, Mother," T'Pol says. Dude, I would! Hey, Mom? Yeah, you ruined my life by making me marry that cold fish of a creepy Vulcan who touches my chin at odd moments, when all I wanted to do was go on a palm tree-filled honeymoon with my hot Southern lovah and smoke crack to my heart's content. Damn you! T'Pol wants her mother to come back with her. T'Ma can't do that. She hoped T'Pol would see their side of things and join them. "It's possible I was being foolish," T'Ma admits. "Extremely," T'Pol agrees.

Enterprise

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