Enterprise
Awakening (2)

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Welcome To Planet Crack Whore

Quantum is yanked out of the Sepia Crap of SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA by T'Pol calling his name and shaking his arm. Quantum furrows, looks around, and sits down on the cavern floor.

Vulcan High Command. Dub'ya raises protesting eyebrows with his strategy to bomb the hell out of The Geordi with photonic weapons. The oddly familiar Vulcan, who I finally conclude played Linwood on Angel, is the loudest protestor. He thinks they need not kill any Syrrannites in order to apprehend them. Dub'ya wants them all dead, and orders the lapdog Vulcans around him to make it so. Can we just discuss the harshly lit Vulcan situation room? There's this awful eighties-inspired mural that looks like someone tried to emulate the cover of "Dark Side of the Moon" and only had maroon, aqua, and bright ochre on hand.

Quantum explains his experience to T'Ma and T'Pau and says he knows it was SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA. "We believe you," T'Pau says, nodding emphatically as she reveals what we knew last week, in that the Chucking Vulcan was walking around with SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA until he willed it away to Quantum. T'Pol doesn't believe in katras. Not even if you close your eyes and say it out loud three times and clap your hands? T'Ma exhorts her to open her mind to other possibilities. T'Pol puffs her lips back at her mother in response. Man, if I gave my mother a look like that I'd be slapped into the middle of next week. T'Pau explains WHAT WE ALREADY KNOW about being mostly dead and the importance of transferring the katra before being all dead. "I was nearest to him when he died," Quantum says. Yeah, but WHY? Why did the writers put him there? Why couldn't it have been someone -- ANYONE -- else? A crap weasel would have been more worthy. T'Pau says the only way to be certain is for her to mind-meld with him. "I've had my fill of mind-melds," Quantum says. No you haven't -- transferring a katra is not a mind-meld. Jackass. "The prospect doesn't appeal to me either," T'Pau says, sticking her nose up. Hee. "I've never melded with a human before. Your...unchecked emotions will no doubt prove distasteful." Forget the unchecked emotions, how is she going to bust through all those furrows? Quantum heaves sighs, acts put upon, and rolls his eyes before he finally agrees even as T'Pol takes a protesting and CRACK WHORE step forward. T'Pau's fingers assume the position on Quantum's dirty, sweaty, and disturbingly attractive unshaven face as she goes through the mind-meld incantations. Quantum does the Valeris thing of saying stuff in unison with T'Pau as their minds join. After some ferreting around in Quantum's memory of the sandfire storm, the cave, and the Chucking Vulcan dying, T'Pau determines that Quantum does indeed have SURAK'S FUCKING KATRA.

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Enterprise

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