Babel One (1)

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Keckler: B- | Grade It Now!

More firings on Enterprise, and even Shran can't make them stop. Reed fires back, to no effect. Quantum tells Shran they have to get through the Andorian shields, and asks for the access codes. Shran hesitates until Quantum reminds him that they will all die if he doesn't cooperate. Shran cooperates. Reed gets off a direct hit, but the attacking ship's shields are still at maximum. Reed fires torpedoes at maximum yield and the ship moves off. T'Pol reports an energy fluctuation in their power grid. See, that REALLY means the attacking ship isn't who it says it is. I don't know why, I just know. Quantum congratulates Reed, but Reed says it wasn't his doing: "I didn't target their power grid." DUN!

Shran, Quantum, and Wilbur argue about who is at fault for the recent events. Shran says that the attacking ship had a completely different shield matrix from other Andorian ships, and accuses the Tellarites of abducting their ships and enhancing their systems. Wilbur laughs that Shran is paranoid. Shran and Wilbur grapple at each other over the table until Quantum threatens to throw both of him in his Beloved Brig.

In their quarters, the Tellarites discuss their mistake in trusting the humans, since they are clearly allied with the Andorians.

In the Situation Alcove, T'Pol shows Shran that the power grid from the ship that attacked him and the power grid from the ship that attacked Enterprise are exactly the same. Shran scoffs, not believing what he's seeing and still wanting to believe it's the Tellarites who are at fault. Quantum tells Shran they've located the warp trail of the attacking ship and are going after it. Shran doesn't like that idea at all, since some of his crew need serious attention from Andorian doctors. Quantum sticks to his guns and tells Shran to suck it up. You know, Shran really has a point. If the situation were reversed and the lives of some of Quantum's crew hung in the balance without proper human medical treatment, do you really think he'd allow Shran to go gallivanting off after a ghost ship? I think not.

At dinner with T'Pol, Quantum strains to appear absorbed in looking out of his captain's table WOTWW just to get T'Pol's attention. T'Pol finally asks him what his deal is, and Quantum asks if they are moving too fast. T'Pol raises her eyebrows and says, "Commander Tucker believes it is safe to maintain this warp." Oh, T'Pol, with your quirky Vulcan ways of misunderstanding -- first the Rome allusion and now this! How not tiresome that has become after 40 years! Obviously, that's not what Quantum means, so he clarifies that he's concerned that Earth is rushing in where angels fear to tread, and wonders if the Vulcans should have handled the mediation. T'Pol negates this, since Vulcans are still on the outs with the Andorians. Not to mention being in a bit of an administrative mess themselves, right? In a total non-sequitur, Quantum says that Hoshi tattled to him about T'Pol getting email from Vulcan that day. T'Pol looks uncomfortable and says, "It was a personal message." Quantum furrows at her and gets some more iced tea. "It was from Frank Lloyd Vulcan," T'Pol goes on. "Our marriage has been officially dissolved." "I'm sorry to hear that," Quantum responds. Why? She wasn't happy in the marriage, she didn't love the puffy Vulcan, so why be sorry? If anything, break out the green champagne and toast T'Pol's freedom to get her to a nunnery. Quantum never knows the right thing to say. Reed comms that he thinks they found the Andorian ship.

The Andorian ship looks like a flea under a microscope. In a slightly smoky room, a ROMULAN fiddles with some figure in chair, who has cables attached to his hands and neck and a big, all-concealing helmet over his head. Bring out the gimp! By the by, the headdress makes him look like he's a Romulan Doc Brown in the opening of Back to the Future. Another ROMULAN walks in and demands a report. The first ROMULAN says he can't find the source of the malfunction. The other ROMULAN -- who is that absurdly Cro-Magnon-y actor who played Luke and the Judge on Buffy and a god on Charmed, and talks like he's got a satchel of marbles stuffed in his throat -- tells the first ROMULAN to hurry up because they can't stay long in enemy territory. The Gimp just sits in the chair as his cables light up and make bleepy noises. The ROMULANS see Enterprise approaching and huff from the depths of their horridly checkered coveralls. It's a good thing they aren't checked and quilted -- that would be a fashion don't if I ever saw one. However, we know that they do become quilted at some point, so I wonder how that particular fashion will evolve -- "Oh, would you get a look at that motel room bedspread with purple and beige flowers? You know, refigure it in metallic polyester and that quilting would look fab as a stiff militaristic tunic with shoulder pads!"

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