Babel One (1)

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B- | Grade It Now!

On the ROMULAN Flea Ship, Trip and Reed are tossed like salad. Again, if the science was up to snuff, they'd both be salad dressing. Maybe a light vinaigrette with flecks of blood and minced shallots. "Magnetize your boots!" Reed gasps. Clunk-clunk! Reed and Trip stick to the floor and make their way down the corridor.

Enterprise. Andorians -- including a fully-dressed Talus -- take out some Uh-Ohs and storm the Tellarites' rooms. Fisticuffs and threats.

Bridge. T'Pol and Hoshi announce that the emitters on the hull of the flea ship are holographic projectors used to camouflage the ship. T'Pol addresses the issue of Shran's ship being destroyed by Tellarite weaponry by explaining, "Their disrupter utilized tri-phasic emitters -- they can simulate different kinds of weapons." "The one thing they couldn't mask is their power signature," Mayweather offers, "that's why they couldn't --" Mayweather is interrupted by Uh-Ohs telling Quantum about the Andorian escapees. God, poor Mayweather -- he finally gets some lines and he gets cut off mid-sentence! You just know Montgomery got the script and was thumbing through it going, "Okay, okay -- good, good. Yes, nice! Awww -- FUCK!"

Shran beats on Wilbur and threatens to turn him into links or patties. His choice. Outside, Uh-Ohs ambush the Andorians on guard. Quantum runs along and enters Wilbur's quarters, his weapon out. He carefully tells Shran that he can prove that the ship that attacked him wasn't Tellarite. He even pulls back his weapon as a show of good faith and tells Wilbur and Shran that they are both being set up: "Your ship was attacked because someone doesn't want this conference to go forward!" Shran finally gives in and puts the safety on his weapon before handing it over to Quantum. Off her guard, Talus is attacked by one of Wilbur's men and shot in the shoulder. Quantum reacts by quickly taking out Wilbur's man with the gun that Shran just handed over. Shran rushes to Talus's side. The shoulder she's now grabbing at (her right) isn't the one they showed getting shot. "Get Phlox down here!" Quantum barks. Uh-Ohs scamper off. Talus asks how bad her wound is. "It's only superficial," Shran reassures her, "you'll be fine." Now that was sort of a strange scene if they don't expect her to die later. I mean, it's nice to see Shran being tender and all, but I still thought it was a bit odd.

ROMULAN flea ship. Trip and Reed finally gain the Bridge to find...NOTHING! There's no one there! It's empty with just a lot of controls shaking and jittering. Even The Gimp's chair is empty.

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