Borderland (1)

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C- | Grade It Now!

Quantum's Ready Room. T'Pol enters, and Quantum gives her some intelligence about the mission. T'Pol says that the Vulcans are trying to work out a diplomatic solution and there might be a chance it will succeed. "Small chance," Quantum says, picks up a small wooden box from his desk, and presents it to her. "It's your first official day of duty, Commander T'Pol." I hope there's a non-velour Starfleet uniform in there, because there are no excuses for the Vulcan's pettable catsuits anymore. "It's from the early twentieth century," Quantum explains as T'Pol pulls out the same brass compass my mom gave to my dad to put on the Ondine. "Should keep you pointed in the right direction." Which means T'Pol should calibrate it away from you, yes? Wait a freakin' minute -- where EXACTLY on a FREAKIN' SPACESHIP will a FREAKIN' COMPASS POINT?! Toward the warp core? Which is toward...Trip? Is this Quantum's subtle way of giving his approval of their relationship? Would this show EVER be THAT deep? Quantum says he's glad she's with them, and T'Pol CRACK WHORES with her extreme disappointment before she thanks him for the completely useless present.

Quantum logs that they're in The Borderland with absolutely no sign of Klingons, Khannabees, or an interesting plot.

Sickbay. Dain'ta waxes nostalgic over his progeny. Apparently, as he examines their DNA with Phlox, Dain'ta is able to identify his genetic experiments by name. Now that's a father who loves his children to an extremely creepy degree. Phlox comments that the genetic engineering is pretty sophisticated stuff for the twentieth century. Dain'ta preens that he made some modifications of his own, but he won't tell Phlox what those modifications are. Phlox is clearly disgusted with Dain'ta's work, which surprises Dain'ta. He didn't think the Denobulan doc would share the human race's knee-jerk animosity toward genetic engineering. "On the contrary," Phlox says, "we've used genetic engineering on Denobula for over two centuries to generally positive effect." Phlox says that he doesn't appreciate Dain'ta's attempt to redesign his own species, since the first attempt of that kind resulted in thirty million deaths. Dain'ta argues that science shouldn't be held back by past mistakes, but Phlox counters that scientists have a responsibility to learn from past mistakes. "Oh, what makes you think I haven't?" Dain'ta snaps. "I can read," Phlox says calmly, and walks away. Phlox is just awesome.

Enterprise gets attacked by "Orion Interceptors," who don't respond to their hails. There are weird coils of smoke on the bridge, and before I can figure out if T'Pol is smoking a CRACK PIPE under her desk, she and two guys from Engineering disappear from the ship. The Orion Interceptors jump to warp.

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