Back on Enterprise, Quantum tells T'Pol about the ridiculous scheme Shrek proposed. Starfleet helps Shrek mine magnesite on a planet that has enough of the stuff to build a thousand warp reactors, and Shrek gets ten percent. Not only that, but Shrek has offered to help establish a dialogue between Starfleet and the Orion Syndicate. Wow. Some days you get the moon AND the stars. Quantum's a genuine idiot for not thinking something was up with such a sweet deal, but I guess one can argue that he's already addled by the green eggs and ham that jiggled in front of him earlier that night. T'Pol wonders if Quantum is going to accept. Quantum already has. T'Pol thought Quantum was seeking her advice. No, no, he wasn't doing that, Quantum brought her to his quarters to tell her about the "gift" Shrek gave him to celebrate the deal. "Given the situation, I couldn't refuse." Yeah, given the situation of YOUR PENIS! T'Pol squints at him.
Reed leads the Three Green Sisters to their quarters. They play with their hair, swing their hips, and ask questions about the ship that Reed has a hard time answering. Other red-stripes also have a hard time not gawking at the velvet bikinis. There's also a Charles Dickens joke in there somewhere, but I'm not sure where to -- oh, wait, Charles Dick-ens, there it is. Reed lets Chartreuse into her room and tells Puce and Lime that he'll show them their rooms in a moment. "Captain Archer has a very large ship," Chartreuse comments. "It's roomy," Reed agrees. "But everything's so functional -- there's no color," Chartreuse pouts, standing really close to Reed. Obviously she hasn't yet met T'Pol and her amazing Technicolor catsuits. Reed admits that he never thought about it. "What's your name?" Chartreuse pouts. Stinky. His sex name is "Stinky." "Lieutenant Reed. Malcolm," Reed stutters. "Pleased to meet you, Lt. Reed Malcolm," Chartreuse says, moving close again. Mystical dream-like music plays as Reed tells Chartreuse that someone will be by to show her how to use everything. I guess he's not into water games. Chartreuse pouts and wriggles on her bed as Reed leaves to show Lime and Puce their rooms. I wonder if, when you send in your headshot to be on these shows, you want to highlight how good you are at pouting and wriggling. "Yeah, I went to the Jennifer Love Hewitt School of Pouting and I studied wriggling with Nicolette Sheridan."