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Keckler: F | Grade It Now!

You know, there's a limit to what one human being can take, and listening to that sculch twice in one night is waaaaay over mine.

The Tellarite ship takes off after Hoshi picks up on weapons fire and Reed can't get in touch with Quantum. As an afterthought, Skalaar fires at one of Enterprise's nacelles and disables it, preventing them from chasing him. Reed orders the science teams back to the ship. You know, I never knew the term "bounty hunter" until I saw The Empire Strikes Back, so in my head "bounty hunter" and "Boba Fett" are one and the same. However, Skalaar proves himself to be less than bloodthirsty, so I don't think he's a very good bounty hunter. Yeah, he's not so much a Boba Fett as he is a Boba Nyet.

Decon. In a white bodysuit last seen in "Marauders," T'Pol asks Trip about the situation. She tells Trip she's on her way up. However, Phlox detains her and says they picked up something nasty in the planet's woodshed. He doesn't know if it's contagious (I'm one hundred percent sure it isn't!) but he does know they need some more Deconning.

Boba Nyet's Ship. Behind a web of yellow fluorescent tube lightbulbs that seem to serve as a cell, Quantum wakes up. He demands some answers from his captor, who ignores him until Quantum shocks himself on the lightbulbs. "I'd stay away clear of those emitters if I were you -- the very latest technology. I installed them last month," Boba Nyet says casually. Quantum tries to argue that his ship will soon catch up with them, but Boba Nyet dashes that hope by saying he's taken "appropriate countermeasures" to ensure that they won't. Quantum demands some more answers and tosses around some more threats. Boba Nyet turns around and points a gun at Quantum: "You can either be quiet or spend the rest of this trip unconscious -- which do you prefer?" Quantum shuts up and sits down. Can I put in an order for "unconscious"?

Decon: Pre-Pon Farr Onset. Phlox is having no luck with the theta radiation and so turns to Decon Gel E (now on sale at Sephora for $15.99) as a way of neutralizing the microbe. Phlox tells her it will be several hours before they know it's effective. T'Pol chafes at being there for that long, but Phlox says she has little choice, since the organism is infectious and humans would be more vulnerable to it than either of them. Phlox pulls a curtain closed between the two of them. Already stripped to her barest Maidenform essentials, T'Pol starts applying the gel. Even though he's got the It Happened One Night curtain between the two of them, every disrobing movement of Phlox's screams how uncomfortable he is. He takes off his shirt and exposes a weird shadow on his chest. It seems to be a dark cross running from his neck down his chest and under his pecs. It is supposed to be body hair? I can't help but think of Austin Powers. Phlox talks nervously: "Fortunately, no one else on the surface was exposed to the microbe." Shot of T'Pol rubbing her leg and thigh. Her gel seems a lot more sparkly than Phlox's. "I suspect you and I were contaminated when we climbed into the second ravine," Phlox goes on, rubbing his leg with gel and showing us his dark and craggy alien toenails. "Considering the quantity of fauna down there I'm not at all surprised. We were probably infected by the marsupials I found," Phlox finishes. "I told you to leave them alone," T'Pol interjects, rubbing her shoulders. "Their saliva is a natural anticoagulant. I couldn't return to the ship without a sample," Phlox says. T'Pol rubs her other butt cheek as well as her abs. Phlox calls out that he could use some assistance. T'Pol pushes the curtain away as Phlox exposes his back to her. It looks like he's got some sort of external spine. Nice touch, but it looks more like a tattoo than scales. "I wasn't aware a curtain was installed," T'Pol says. "Not everyone's comfortable with the idea of disrobing in front of others," Phlox tells her. T'Pol thinks it's strange for a doctor to take that attitude. "It's a characteristic of Denobulan males. We are more inhibited than our women. It's led to a number of awkward moments. The Starfleet physical was an experience I never hope to repeat," and as Phlox natters on, T'Pol has been rubbing his back with undue concentration and growing plaktauness. She realizes what she's doing and shakes it off. She asks Phlox to rub her as well, and raises her tank top a bit. Trying not to look, or get his eyes poked out by her shoulder blades, Phlox dabs at T'Pol's back with the gel. I can understand Phlox being embarrassed about his own lack of complete clothing, but rubbing gel on T'Pol is more of a physician-like thing to do and he really shouldn't have a problem with it.

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