Episode Report Card
Keckler: F | Grade It Now!

Decon. Phlox sleeps while T'Pol's hands crawl all over him. Phlox's eyes pop open, and he asks what T'Pol is doing. "You said we'd need another treatment," T'Pol purrs, still rubbing at Phlox. "Not for three hours," Phlox says. "Is there any harm in starting now?" T'Pol wonders. "I can apply it myself!" Phlox says, popping into a sitting position. Phlox thinks T'Pol needs another sedative, but she slides, legs spread apart, onto the bench and says that rest isn't what she needs. Phlox feels that T'Pol is acting in a manner unbecoming to an officer. T'Pol pouts that Phlox doesn't find her attractive. Phlox tells her that isn't the issue. T'Pol chases Phlox around the chamber, and Phlox insists, "It's against regulations." "Starfleet regulations," T'Pol corrects him. So, they do have regulations against the sex? What about when Phlox wanted to watch the two Starfleet officers have sex in the first season? That didn't seem to be against regs. T'Pol starts chasing Phlox again, and Phlox insists that T'Pol isn't well. T'Pol stretches her arms above her head and says the good doctor has no idea what he's denying himself. Severe bruising gets my guess -- get a load of those bony hips!

Phlox scans her and notes that her endorphins and hormones are dangerously high. T'Pol insists that she is not ill; the readings are normal for a Vulcan in her "condition." Do you think Vulcans were given that book Am I Normal? to explain zee blood fever and the multiple and fun uses of the lirpa and the ahn woon? Phlox realizes that T'Pol knows what's wrong with her. "It's not something we discuss with others," T'Pol says, turning away. Except in "Fallen Hero" and "Fusion." Phlox tells her it's not the time to be prim, and promises to keep it between the two of them. "We call it the pon farr -- the cycle of mating," T'Pol says. Phlox asks if she's gone through it before. "It's not time," T'Pol shakes her head. Phlox points out that the marsupial microbe they picked up was probably the catalyst. T'Pol shudders, "It doesn't matter. If I don't mate with a male -- Vulcan or otherwise -- I'll die!" Teenagers are always so dramatic.

On the L-Class planet's surface, Boba Nyet fiddles with his ship. Quantum tries to get him to talk about his Tezra, and notes that it is very important to him. "If Kago [the weird little alien] collects the award, he'll probably waste it on Orion slave girls," Boba Nyet snorts. Honestly? I'm sick to death of these Orion slave girl references -- either put up or shut up! Boba Nyet tells Quantum of his dreams to be a freighter captain again, and they start to bond with Stockholm Syndrome Paste until Boba Nyet gets wise to the fact that Quantum is actually sabotaging the repairs. Boba Nyet throws Quantum to the ground and pulls a gun on him. Quantum says, "Did you really think I wanted this engine fixed? You're taking me to be executed!" Boba Nyet puts down his weapon and says, "Don't worry -- we'll meet Goroth on time."

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