Trip and T'Pol take their cans of "gel" into the DeCon chamber, and The Blue Light Of Lust And Skin fires up (I guess that's some people's idea of a Blue Light Special). The camera does an extreme close-up of T'Pol and Trip silently rubbing "gel" on themselves. I wonder if the "gel" is chocolate flavored. "Correct me if I'm wrong," Trip says, "but aren't yew kind of an observer on this mission? [On this mission, in this DeCon chamber, what's the difference?] I don't remember anyone telling me yew were a member of Starfleet." "My Vulcan rank supercedes yours," T'Pol says, smearing gel on her abs, which she thrusts conveniently into the light. "Apples and oranges," Trip splutters, "this is an Earth vessel, yer in no position to take command." While moving onto her thigh area -- just one will suffice, apparently -- T'Pol tells him that Vulcan High Command will speak to Starfleet and ensure that they support her authority. "Yew must reeeelly be proud of yerself," Trip says, as T'Pol turns her back to him and raises her tank top ineffectually enough that Trip rubs her neck, an area easily reached by her own hands. "Yew can put an end to this mission while Cap'n is still unconscious in sick bay and yew won't even have to look him in the eye," Trip says, rubbing her lower back and going half an inch below her waistband. Again, a place she could have reached herself! "Your precious cargo was stolen, three Suliban or more were killed, and Captain Archer has been seriously wounded," T'Pol says. Yes, but why dwell on the negative when we have all this slippery gel between us. Of course, if she can't reach her lower back or the back of her neck, then she must not be able to reach her own ears, so Trip rubs gel on those as well. "It seems to me," T'Pol says, turning around to face him, "that this mission has put an end to itself. Turn around." Trip turns, and T'Pol rubs gel on his shoulders and legs (I know I am never able to shave my own legs, owing to their hard-to-reach location) while Trip opines that maybe they screwed up, but the individuals who wounded Cpt. Archer are probably connected to the group who abducted Klaang. As T'Pol moves up his legs to his butt, the UPS guy knocks on my door to deliver a large package. T'Pol tells Trip she "fails to see [his] point," and pulls on his ears. Trip tells her that it's important to Cpt. Quantum to see this mission to the end. "His daddy was the same way," Trip says, staring T'Pol down, who replies, "You obviously share your Captain's belief that my people were responsible for impeding Henry Archer's accomplishments." Trip says Henry Archer just wanted to see his engine fly, "they never even gave him the chance to fail. And here you are thirty years later proving just how consistent you Vulcans can be." I guess the rubdown is over, because Trip turns the lights on, killing the blue mood, and storms out. T'Pol pauses a moment to give the viewing audience a good view of her pulled-up, tucked-under tank top and her nips, which direct her out of the DeCon chamber like beacons.
Episode Report CardKeckler: B+ | 286 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT