Quantum gets a come hither from Excedrin PM to play Jimmy Carter to the Vulcan's Egypt and the Andorian's Israel. Accompanied by a sour Soval and a Tylenoled T'Pol, Quantum shuttles off to negotiate a cease fire agreement between the two factions. The plot thickens when Quantum's pod is shot down by less-than-friendly fire. Back on the ship, Trip picks up the Captain's reins with considerable verve and even manages not to crack a single pewp joke while on the Bridge. Reed gets to test out his new alarm system, Phlox prescribes some Exposition-D, and Hoshi has a few things to say. A very few.
Look, I'll admit that it wasn't gawd-awful, but it also wasn't anything that made me want to dance around a maypole. I'm referring to an actual maypole, of course, not that poor tosser they have on the Bridge. Folks, I felt more tension trying to figure out which letters and numbers sponsored each Sesame Street. It's like we've been so smacked around with truly awful episodes that in the absence of genuinely good writing, we'll seize on anything that looks like it might have a slight tinge of talent. We don't drink the sand because we're thirsty; we drink the sand because we no longer know the difference! Anyone else getting The American President on TBS in a continuous, brow-beating loop?
However, there were two bright points for me: Although he's no Clark Gable by any stretch of the imagination, Trip as captain made me get down on my knees and pray for a mutiny on the U.S.S. Booty. I also picked up on the TOS-like background score, and it improved my recapping mood greatly. If only it hadn't been for all that talking they added in.
Really dark overhead scenes showing lumps that could be buildings, illuminated ever so slightly by occasional weapons fire. A few Andorians -- led by Suzie Plakston with a body temp of seventy-five degrees below zero -- burst into a room, dragging a Black-and-Blue with them. Suzy Blue reports, "The Imperial Guard will die at their posts before --" Excedrin PM interrupts her to say that he knows his men are willing to die; he just wants to know what their chances of survival are. Suzy Blue gives him the positions of their enemies, and Excedrin PM tells her he's received a letter from the Vulcans indicating that they're willing to begin the peace talks. Suzy Blue looks over the letter, commenting, "Have you ever heard of a Vulcan who wouldn't lie to get what he wanted?" That seems to be a singularly odd comment. It's obviously directed at those of us who are desperately holding onto the last filament of Vulcan dignity, because we still want to believe that Vulcans possess enough honor not to lie when people's lives are at stake. I count myself among that group, by the way, and I really loathe Bermaga for their not-so-latent Logic Envy. So, other than being yet another nail in the coffin of Yesterday's Vulcans, I don't really see what point Suzy Blue's statement serves. Have you ever heard of ANYONE who wouldn't lie to get what they want? Especially in a war situation?
Excedrin PM thinks they can get in a mediator to help them out with the situation. "A pink-skin. He's proven to be quite evenhanded in dealing with Vulcans. His name is Archer," Excedrin PM jaws. He certainly knows his way around a smorgasbord of scenery. But in a good way.