Enterprise

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | 343 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Let That Be Your Last Bakulafield

Bridge. The Christalien Scientists are hailed by the Heretics. A Heretic appears on screen. I don't believe it -- where the Christalien Scientists have a red Chakotay-ish tattoo on the right side of their faces, the Heretics have a blue one on the left side of their faces. LET THAT BE YOUR LAST TATTOO! Digimon orders the Heretics to surrender. They won't -- especially since they have four ships. THERE ARE FOUR SHIPS! Digimon gleefully tells him that even if he had ten ships, he wouldn't survive against Enterprise. I think that's overstating it a bit. I mean, Enterprise is great and all, but it's not going to part any red seas of Tranquility. Digimon tells the Heretic that if he surrenders they'll be treated "fairly." Yeah, where "fair" means "put to death because The Makers made me do it." The Heretic pretty much expresses this same thought and hangs up. Digimon orders T'Pol to target the lead vessel. She doesn't move. "Do what I say!" Digimon shouts. "No," T'Pol informs him. Digimon signals to one of his Christalien Scientists, who pulls T'Pol out of her seat and pushes her aside. He sits down to do her job for her. I don't know why Digimon didn't have him there in the first place. If they know how to run this ship, I can't see why they need any of the crew -- at this point whittled down to T'Pol, Mayweather, and possibly half of Hoshi -- on the bridge. Digimon orders them in closer.

From outer space I can now see that both nacelles are lit up. Although they aren't traveling at warp any more. I don't know what's going on -- why do I bother trying to figure it out?

Enterprise flies into the formation and fires at one of the Fleabags. Its engines are down. Digimon orders his Christalien Scientist to target the main reactor. T'Pol tries to put her usurper in a headlock. But since this isn't VWF (Vulcanwide Wrestling Federation), she is easily pushed back by a Christalien Scientist with a gun. That's stupid. As a VULCAN, T'Pol should have been able to EASILY nerve-pinch the one and use the other as a battering ram! It's the third season, and T'Pol still acts as weak as a human. Sickening. Enterprise fires and destroys the Fleabag. Two Fleabags fire back.

Sickbay. As the ship shakes, Phlox holds onto countertops for support. He "accidentally" bangs into his Pyrithian bat's cage, and she flies out and zooms around Sickbay. The Christalien Scientist guard looks concerned. "Don't worry, it's harmless," Phlox tells him. "Unless it's agitated." The Christalien Scientist guard sits down on the floor, out of range of the flapping. Hee -- Phlox and his phauna.

Enterprise

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