Enterprise

Episode Report Card
Keckler: F | 287 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Tempus fudges-it
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

A mottled Suliban is strapped to a chair, as tubes in his face pump stuff in and out. "This wasn't part of our agreement," the Suliban says angrily. Camera pans up, and we see we're back in The Trippy Shower Room from the series premiere. And what goes well with the Trippy Shower Room? Right -- Mr. Shower Shadow in his Cylinder Of Mysterious Light, acting and speaking very Darth Sidiously. "You failed in your last mission," Shower Shadow reverberates. "The Klingon Empire is intact. You knew there would be consequences." Another Suliban light-trails behind the tied-up Suliban (I don't think I'm ruining anyone's day by acknowledging that the tied-up one is Silik, considering that he was the only one who conversed with Shower Shadow in the first episode) as he prepares some evil-looking implements. "Please, I won't disappoint you again," Silik says. "We'll restore it, but only if you succeed in your next mission," Shower Shadow says. "But you're disabling me," Silik whispers. "You won't need enhanced vision where you're going," Shower Shadow tells him. "Proceed with the extraction." Helper Suliban walks over to Silik, brandishing a metal tool, which slowly deploys a very long and thick needle. Ugh. Scary flashbacks to my childhood, when my dentists had to manually "extract" nearly all my baby teeth -- as well as a few permanent ones -- because they didn't fall out on their own, and my mouth was too small to house all of them. I only have twenty-four teeth now. Helper Suliban moves the needle closer to Silik's eye; Silik whimpers. Okay, I'm a bit ooked out by that.

Thank the Great Flume of Agosoria I won't have to hear this theme song again until January 23rd. Except for those times at 2 AM when I awaken, soused in a cold sweat, keening, "And they're not going to hold me down no more, no they're not going to change my mind!"

I've started seeing a sleep therapist.

Enterprise. Hoshi and Mayflower-Power chat in the turbo lift. "Hey, where were you last night?" Mayflower asks Hoshi. Hoshi tells him she went to bed early. Mayflower tells her she didn't miss much. "What did they show?" Hoshi asks. "Night of the Killer Androids," Mayflower says. "That bad?" Hoshi asks. Mayflower complains that, as they've got fifty thousand movies in the database, there must be something worth watching. Seriously -- I'm sure all the seasons of Buffy are out on DVD by then. "You could always read a book," Hoshi suggests, her voice lowered to imply that she's being scandalous in an ironic sort of way. Mayflower considers this as they join Reed on the bridge. "Ensigns," he greets them. "Enjoy the show last night?" One side of his face twitches in a half-smile. Mayflower gives a good impression of food poisoning in response, which makes Reed chuckle. "Those are two hours of my life I'd rather have back," he says. You got off easy, my friend; there's some twelve-odd hours of my life I'll never get back. Although I have to give the show props for alluding to something as ordinary as crewmen watching movies. As far as we know, the crew of TNG never did -- they either read, played poker, or cavorted in various holodeck programs. Kind of reminds me of M*A*S*H when Radar would try to get the current reels and the 4077 would be at the mercy of whatever horrific Ronald Reagan films ICOR sent them.

Enterprise

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