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Flight of the Khannabees

A sh'pod zooms toward a structure built into the base of some mountain that looks like it's straight out of Quantum Leap. You know, so much on this show is built into rocks: the Khannbabees Gymboruglee, the Aviary, all the cave sets, Quantum's forehead -- it's sort of like a motif. Quantum logs that, with no other leads, they are following the coordinates Dain'ta gave them last week. The Away Team looks around Gymboruglee for clues. They're going to find a chest full of those teak toys some parents are coddled into thinking will make their children gifted at age three. Actually, it does look like they find a game of SET, but that's probably a coincidence. Quantum determines that the playpen doubled as a classroom. "Imagine having Dain'ta as your teacher," Malcolm scoffs. Well, he's better than Charlie Brown's. Trip observes, "With that and their screwed-up genes, no wunner they turned out the way they did." Trip's got genius envy. Unbeknownst to them, some nappy-haired Khannabee reject watches from the shadows and pulls out a Klingony knife. Trip and Quantum note that the Khannabees took medical equipment with them. Quantum watches home videos of Dain'ta playing with the Khannababees. "I'll be damned," Quantum breathes. Wait, why? They already knew that was the Khannabee colony, and that Dain'ta was the one who brought them there and raised them. Quantum even JUST made the comment about Dain'ta being their teacher, so just what are they supposed to be damned about? I mean, no surprises, right? God, but this show makes stupid line decisions. You'd think I could let this go, but you'd be wrong. It's very distracting to have Bakula playing up a supposedly dramatic moment, yet we having no idea what in the moment is dramatic. Getting a better look at the Khannabee reject, we can see that, yes, he's just as ugly and has a forehead just as preternaturally large as the others. I'll bet he got ditched for being a B student. So much for no child left behind. The Away Team spot him and there's a chase in the caverns. Aw, we missed you, Cave Set -- don't be a stranger! "Leave me alone!" the reject pants. "We're not going to hurt you," Quantum says, leveling his phaser -- which, last time I checked, does actually hurt -- at him. There's a tussle, and Quantum bests the superteen. Yup, definitely a B student if Quantum can take him.

Klingon ship. Mullet finds Dain'ta getting teary-eyed over Head Khannabee's stuff. Dain'ta reminisces, "He was a good student -- he loved astronomy." Mullet is silent. "Where's your brother, Mullet?" Dain'ta asks. "Am I my brother's keeper?" Cain -- I mean, "Mullet" answers. Actually, he doesn't, but I have a feeling that's what the writers are trying to evoke, and the subtlety of it is refreshing. I'm serious. I know it sounds like I'm ladling the hot sarcasm sauce over the bitter pie, but I'm being totally serious. Really. Anyway, Mullet spins a cock and bull story about what happened to Mullet. He cries without actual tears and he apologizes without actual sorrow. Hey, Mullet? The Dolt called -- he wants his Constipated Gibbon face back. Mullet lies when he cries that Head Khannabee came at him with a knife and it was all an accident. He even bullshits that he tried so very hard to save Mullet. Dain'ta seems to buy it, and even blames himself for leaving them alone as children. I'm laughing at the superior intellect.

Sickbay. Phlox reports on the stable yet inferior state of Khannabee Student and confirms that he's not a gold star Khannabee. "He's an anomaly. His DNA is similar to the others but not identical. He doesn't have any of their enhanced abilities." Quantum furrows at Khannabee Student and apologizes for hitting him in the jaw. Khannabee Student gives his real name but says his brothers and sisters call him "Smike." When Quantum furrows at the unusual nickname, Khannabee Student tells him it's from Nicholas Nickleby. "His handicapped friend," Quantum furrows out loud. Wow -- first the Bible and now Dickens? And without any Norton-sized anvils as well. Impressive. Khannabee Student was left behind because being merely Cum Laude would have slowed his siblings down, and he accepts that. He also doesn't want to help Quantum find the other Khannabees. "You'll never stop them, Captain, no one will." Trip comms that the medical equipment taken from the Gymboruglee was a bunch of incubators. Don't worry, I'm sure it's just for a Science Fair project.

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