Episode Report Card
Keckler: F | Grade It Now!

Trip tattles to Quantum that he thinks Emery is doing weird stuff and is lying about his tests. Quantum admits to having his reservations as well. Especially since he dug up some info that says the thing that melted the Rent-a-Red-Stripe's face happened during another one of Emery's tests a few years ago. In case we need reminding because we were bored insensible for the last half hour, Emery denied all knowledge of such an event occurring. I find it really annoying that Emery spells his name with an "e" rather than an "o." T'Pol comms to say they are picking up another Face-Melting Anomaly elsewhere on the ship.

Quantum and a team hunt for the Face-Melting Anomaly That Is Quinn. The Face-Melting Anomaly That Is Quinn, which sort of looks like the water graphics from the "Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls" video, appears in front of Quantum and T'Pol and attacks T'Pol. She screams and wails and pants.

I'm so anesthetized by this episode that I don't even have the heart to be angry at it. I just don't care. It's there. It's bland. It's Enterprise. Oh, and the Icarus Factor in this pathetic excuse for entertainment? Not even going to dignify that tired stupid-son-flew-too-close-to-the-sun-so-humpybacked-father-blames-himself with analysis. It's obvious. We can all see it. I don't care. I always thought Daedalus was better off without a brain-dead son like Icarus anyway.

Do you want to know what else I don't care about? I don't care that Quantum is an asshole anymore. He's been that way since the first episode of the first season and he will be that way in the last episode of this series (which should be May-abouts) when he screams at his entire crew, Porthos included, that he can and will push the Giant Reset Button in the Sky because of some selfish reason that only he cares about. And his crew won't care because they're all just as bored as I am.

Do you want to know what else I don't care about? I don't care that T'Pol wears stupid clothes that make her look like a seven-year-old boy with two water balloons strapped to his chest. It's not like this is anything new. Something new would have been to put her still-hot body in a regulation uniform before her catsuits succeeded, as they have this season, in leeching all blood and nutrients from under her skin, leaving her dried out and hollow. Just like me.

Do you want to know what else I don't care about? I don't care that Mayweather and Hoshi don't have any lines this episode. This just means that they are as removed from the show as I am, and they too are spending the entire episode replaying Diner in their heads.

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