Enterprise

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B+ | 290 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Jane's Addiction

The alien ship undocks from Enterprise and flies off.

T'Pol showers. Trip comes up behind her. Oh, Lord -- are you serious with this stuff? This season's shower is yester-season's Decon. Although it's been more like this season's Neural Node Nudging is yester-season's Decon, but still -- are you SERIOUS with this stuff? Trip rubs T'Pol's scrawny neck, being very careful to avoid the sharp bone jutting out of the back. T'Pol turns around. Trip's neck is anything but scrawny -- I think he needs to lay off the fried stuff with cheese. They mack. We get a foot shot as T'Pol stands on her toes. I don't even want to KNOW! I know this is supposed to be sexy, but all I could think of was, "Ooh, soap in bad places!" They mack harder. T'Pol grunts and throws Trip against the wall. Warning: rough-housing in the shower could lead to slip-and-fall injuries. Have you been injured in a slip-and-fall accident when your lover threw you across the shower? Call James Sokolov. T'Pol climbs all over him. Trip starts to look concerned at her intensity, and pushes her back. Now we see that T'Pol's turning into a Vulcansnatcher -- complete with green skin and warts. She strangles Trip. Girl, you're doing my job! In bed, a non-warty T'Pol gasps awake. Like that was a surprise. She sits on the edge of her bed and rocks herself.

The next scene has her suiting up in an EV suit and creeping through the corridors to a storage bay. Not everyone sleeps all at the same time -- why isn't there anyone working in these corridors? They're not going to repair themselves. T'Pol starts to climb down some crates, but her excessive DTs make her fall down. Crates fall on top of her. Ouchy-ouchy boo-boo! Considering how her neck bounced in the helmet, I'm really astounded she didn't break it against the collar. In all of this, T'Pol manages to pull out one of her air tubes. She gasps, flails, gasps, flails, and finally sticks the thing back in. She gasps some more before looking around and tearing open a crate. Pulling out some tubes, in which there are more, smaller tubes, T'Pol finds what she's looking for. Rocks. As in crack -- geddit? Are you sure? Are you? I don't think you can be, otherwise this anvil of Oh My God We Have to Make The Viewers Understand Our Drug Addiction Theme If It Takes The Last Breath From Our Twisted Bodies would not be spamming my inbox. Looking at the rocks, T'Pol relaxes as if she's already taken several hits.

Enterprise

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