Enterprise

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B+ | 290 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Jane's Addiction

Situation Room. The senior officers plan the attack on the Stingy Ship. Trip reports that they can't just beam the coil out -- he has to uncouple it by hand first. T'Pol wants to negotiate. Quantum doesn't. They set a course. T'Pol wants a word. Quantum doesn't. She follows him anyway. They argue. T'Pol says they're no different from the marauders who attacked them when they first entered The Expanse. Quantum slams his door. Hee -- the effect is lessened with the excessive tugging needed to achieve the slam. "We're a lot different," he insists. "We could be condemning them to death!" T'Pol quavers. Quantum shoves an e-pad in her face and says they are going to be leaving a supply of Trellium-D along with some food. Oh, see, that's why T'Pol doesn't want them to do this -- it will cut into her stash! More arguing. Finally, Quantum says, "We can debate this all day -- I've made my decision." "'We can't save humanity without holding onto what makes us human,'" T'Pol quotes back to Quantum. I can't BELIEVE she's throwing that Havarti back in his face! That's awesome! Quantum's well-aware of his cheese-colored glasses, and says he's not going to make a habit of flying the Jolly Roger. "Once you rationalize the first misstep, it's easy to fall into a pattern of behavior," T'Pol insists. The Spamming Anvil send another doozy into my inbox: "SHE HAS A PATTERN OF BEHAVIOR TOO! PENIS ENLARGEMENT ATTACHED." Wait, those were two separate spams. Quantum says they don't have a choice. "I WON'T LET YOU DO IT!" T'Pol screams, and slams the e-pad on Quantum's desk. It shatters in slow motion. That's 7 of 9 years of bad luck. "We've had our share of disagreements, but you've never taken it out on my desk before," Quantum says mildly. T'Pol apologizes. "What's happening to you?" Quantum wonders. T'Pol looks tearful, as though she might confess her CRACK WHOREDOM to Quantum, but she looks down and says it's been a difficult few days and she hasn't had time to meditate. "Maybe you should make the time," Quantum says. Like, when, Capt. Buttmunch? When you're off being a pirate, leaving her to mind the Bridge? T'Pol says she didn't mean what she said. Quantum's glad to hear it, and says he's going to be leading the boarding party: "There's no margin for error [he grips her shoulders] -- if we don't do this right, people are going to die." He needs her on the Bridge. T'Pol gets it.

Enterprise

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