Sandcastle City. Sh'pod veers in for landing, and Trip looks out the window. "Man, it's hotter'n hell out there. Forty-one degrees!" he whines from under the brim of his black Enterprise baseball cap. Yes, please put an anvil in the pencil sharpener in order to write out one hundred times that the world FINALLY went metric in the future after all my school teachers made us memorize those completely useless conversions. Quantum tells Trip, "It's a dry heat." Dry heave is more like it. Quantum pops the sh'pod door open, and they step onto Tatooine. Osama Bin Dribblin' and his entourage -- all wearing cloaks over their heads -- are just making their way over their landing dune to greet them. Osama Bin Dribblin' introduces Trip to his entourage as being "a brilliant engineer." Trip aw-shucks that it was just a "coupla clogged injectors." Osama Bin Dribblin' hopes they're hungry, because he's prepared a massive feast. Gratuitous shot of another cloaked Chin Dribblin' leading some goats around the dunes.
Chez Bin Dribblin'. The humans and Osama Bin Dribblin' compare notes on how much sand Earth has compared to Alien Planet Of The Week. Trip tells us that two-thirds of Earth is water. Now, that's something the critics overlook about Enterprise. Not only is it a space show with great visual effects and all the stars running around in their undies, but you can actually learn from it as well! Does WGBH know about this? Quantum is quite taken with the food, and tells their host that when he and Trip did survival training in Australia, they didn't eat so well. Trip chuckles and says, "We must've lost about three kilos during that last week. The heat always takes away my appetite." Yeah, I feel that way, too. Except that it's more like death that takes away my appetite. Quantum looks affectionately at Trip and comments that his appetite doesn't seem affected this time around. Trip says, "I guess I'm gettin' acclimated." Throughout this scene, I kept expecting Osama Bin Dribblin' to grab food from Quantum's mouth and say, "Bad dates." They talk about Enterprise's mission and how difficult it is to adjust to new lifeforms without playing God to their civilizations. To Osama Bin Dribblin''s question, Quantum says there was only one occurrence when he thought about turning the ship around and going back. And that's because Reed and Trip wouldn't stop poking each other in the backseat. But Quantum doesn't feel like getting into family issues with Osama Bin Dribblin', so he just tells him that they met some aggressive aliens with more firepower. "Sounds like you've had an eventful journey," Osama Bin Dribblin' says. "It's had its share of surprises," Quantum admits. "Well, perhaps your visit here will be one of them!" Osama Bin Dribblin' says, raising his silver cup of Yalasat wine. All three clink their cups.
Some Chin Dribblin' servants bring in more food, and Osama Bin Dribblin' chortles, "Oh, you're going to enjoy this!" and passes the plates around. Trip says, "It looks delicious, what is it?" Chilled monkey brains. "Blood soup!" Osama Bin Dribblin' tells him. Trip and Quantum do a quick take. "I don't usually eat this well," Osama Bin Dribblin' says, "but I promised your captain an exceptional meal." Trip pulls two marble-sized objects out of the soup and asks, "What are these little chunks?" "The essence of the male. Chopped and seasoned," Osama Bin Dribblin' gurgles, scooping two into his mouth with flatbread. Didn't I say that snake meat would be peach pie compared to other things they might have to chew up? Trip tentatively eats one and quickly gulps some wine. Quantum looks ill as he holds the male essence in his mouth. He looks around the room -- like he's looking for a place to spit it out without anyone noticing -- and comments thickly on the "beautiful tapestries" hanging on the walls. Osama Bin Dribblin' asks him which he prefers; Quantum indicates one -- even though it's clear he was just admiring them for conversation's sake -- and Osama Bin Dribblin' tells him it's his to keep. Quantum demurs, but Osama Bin Dribblin' insists. Quantum tells him he wouldn't have anywhere to hang it, so Osama Bin Dribblin' offers him something smaller. He grabs a metal-worked statue from a table and says, "I know you will appreciate this. A Suliban made it. A Suliban I met several years ago. Interesting people, don't you agree?" Quantum examines the piece of art and thanks Osama Bin Dribblin' without asking why he thinks Quantum especially would appreciate it. Outside, someone blows a horn of Gondor and Osama Bin Dribblin' announces, "Ah, the Geskana match is about to begin. I am hoping you will honor us by participating." Shouldn't they wait half an hour first? Trip whines, "Now? I just ate half a teracaq." Osama Bin Dribblin' tells him he'll be glad he did, as Geskana requires much strength, and slams the rest of his wine.