Desert Crossing

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | Grade It Now!
Like sands through my beer glass

T'Pol comms Quantum to alert him to the fact that he's playing around with a dangerous terrorist warlord. "They're responsible for numerous civilian attacks within the city," T'Pol says. Like a dolt, Quantum tells T'Pol that they don't "seem" like terrorists. No one seems like a terrorist; that's what makes their terrorizing so effective, Cpt. Pea Brain. T'Pol suggests they return to the ship until they determine who and what Osama Bin Dribblin' and his crew are. Quantum casts a backward glance at Osama Bin Dribblin', who's conferring with one of his cloaked men, and tells T'Pol they're on their way. Osama Bin Dribblin' walks over to Quantum and tells him he hopes everything is all right, but Quantum makes up some technobabble lie about why they're needed back on the ship. Trip asks if they can stay to finish the quarter, but Quantum goes into some more technobabble, and finally Trip catches on. Osama Bin Dribblin' argues with him, telling him they must have other people to fix the problem, and again mentions how easily he is offended. Man, what a passive-aggressive warlord. Quantum promises to return if they have time. "You should not believe the Torothans!" Osama Bin Dribblin' bellows, slamming his stick to the ground. Quantum and Trip just look at him, and Osama Bin Dribblin' tells them that he was informed about a "lengthy transmission" between Enterprise and Chancellor Trellit. "Whatever he told your Science Officer, it is not true!" Osama Bin Dribblin' yells. His tone of voice really isn't going far to convince me that he's not a dangerous and violent mass murderer. Osama Bin Dribblin' moderates his voice and says, "I wanted this to wait until later, but I beg you, let me explain the real reason why I asked you here." Quantum is about to protest, but Osama Bin Dribblin' continues, "You have a reputation for being fair, a man of great integrity. When you hear what I am about to say, I am certain you will want to help us." He appeals so effectively to Quantum's obvious vanity that Quantum agrees to listen and doesn't even bother to ask HOW in the galaxy he would have achieved a reputation on this planet in the FEW SHORT MONTHS HE'S BEEN IN SPACE. In space, no one can hear the bullshit.

Chez Osama Bin Dribblin'. Osama takes a yellow tunic from a Chin Dribblin' and presents it to Quantum and Trip. "It's called a yrott. The word means 'to stand apart.' When we lived in the cities, we were forced to wear these whenever we walked in public," Osama Bin Dribblin' explains. Quantum supposes that "those days are over." Osama says, "When the caste system was finally abolished, we were led to believe that everyone would be treated equally. I remember the celebrations, yrotts being burned in the streets [like bras, but I think the image the writers are going for is the Nazi-issued yellow Stars of David], people saying that we had finally been granted our rights. The Torothan Clan signed the Accord, but they never abided by it. They still control the government, the lands, the resources, everything! We spent ten years staging protests, appealing to the courts, until finally we realized there was only one way to get their attention. We have hundreds of camps just like this one all across the desert. And we are going to keep attacking the Torothans until our voices are heard. They call us terrorists but the truth is they have been terrorizing us for centuries." And Contrivance, cracking open a bottle of Gaza Strip Stout, makes himself comfortable on my printer.

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