Enterprise
Doctor's Orders

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Phlox's Runaway Imagination

Phlox reads the manual and mutters about milli-cochrans. I didn't know he had a unit of measure named after him, did I? Don't email me, that's a rhetorical question. Phlox spouts technobabble and doesn't understand it any better than I do. T'Pol goes off to purge the plasma manifolds -- how she's going to accomplish that when she's imaginary is beyond me -- and Trip appears to berate Phlox for fooling with his engines. He tells Phlox that he's going to screw things up and kill everyone. Phlox yells at his imagination to go away. T'Pol appears to ask if Phlox is okay, and tells him she can't find the plasma relays. Phlox rolls his eyes and says he'll do it himself. Phlox and his Imaginary Vulcan monitor technobabble and set the engine for warp two.

Suddenly, stuff goes very wrong. Alarms go off and the engine shakes. Outside, the nacelles flicker like they're trying to warm up. "I followed the procedures exactly, what did I do wrong?" Phlox shouts. "You need to --" Imaginary Vulcan tries to say. "What?!" Phlox demands. Imaginary Vulcan can't answer him. "Is it the particle confinement?" Phlox grasps wildly. "Perhaps you need to increase it!" Imaginary Vulcan suggests happily. "Well, how do I do that?" Phlox demands. Imaginary Vulcan rolls her eyes up like it's on the tip of her tongue. Heh. Phlox dashes down the steps and fiddles with the manual, yelling, "Particle confinement!" Stuff explodes behind T'Pol, and she thinks they should wake Trip up. Phlox refuses, because Trip will die. T'Pol argues, "If we can't accomplish our mission, billions of people on Earth could die. Isn't it logical to sacrifice one life to save so many?" Yeah, yeah, need of the many...few...Spock...peeling...skin...dead -- we went over this already, class. "Particle confinement!" Phlox announces, and scampers back up next to T'Pol. He tells her to do something. She tries, but stops short of doing it. Instead she crouches down, looks around at Phlox and points at the console. "T'POOOOL!" Phlox bawls. He does it for her, and the ship simmers down. They engage the warp engines. When they hit warp one-point-eight, alarms go off again. Phlox notes that pressure on the hull is increasing, and starts pushing buttons. He explains to his Imaginary Friend that Reed insisted on showing him how to transfer power to the hull to increase the plating. The ship stabilizes. "WARP TWO!!" Phlox announces, and starts laughing hysterically. You just want to laugh with him. ["Especially since the entire scene seems to have been based on a phone conversation between me and Verizon DSL customer service." -- Sars]

Normal space. Quantum's Quarters. Phlox wakes up Quantum, who asks him hoarsely to clear the way to the bathroom. Okay, he only asks if they are through the disturbance, but you know he was thinking, "Bathroom. Now. Make it go." Phlox tells him that there were a few glitches, which will be in his log, and lets in Porthos, who attacks Quantum delightedly. I wonder if nearly barbequing Porthos will be one of the "glitches" Phlox mentions. Quantum thanks Phlox sincerely. Do you know what those neural cortex suppressors remind me of? The episode of Wonder Woman where blond aliens placed white plastic things that looked like hard-cooked eggs cut in half on human foreheads and sucked their brains out. Man, I loved that show. I had everything Wonder Woman: bed sheets, costume, Underoos, two posters, lunchbox, t-shirt, Barbie-ish doll, towels (beach and bath), bathing suit, record, audio tapes, coloring book…where was I?

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