Enterprise
E2

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C- | 1 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Back to the Furrow

T'Pol visits the set of the Today Show. T'Pruneface offers her some tea. "Chamomile?" T'Pol asks. "Of course," T'Prune Juice (the drink of warriors) death-rattles. Yeah, god forbid she go a little crazy in a few years and start drinking Lapsang Souchong, right? Actually, there was a time when T'Pol was drinking mint tea, so, what's the thing, chicken wing? They talk shop for a bit, and then T'Prune Danish asks how she's dealing with her new job as the ship's CRACK WHORE. T'Pol's dealing, but she hasn't been able to regain complete control of her emotions. "You'll never fully recover," T'Pruning Shears assures her. "The emotions you've accessed will be with you for the rest of your life." T'Pol looks horrified. T'Prunella De Vil tells T'Pol to embrace her emotions and learn to live with them as she has. "There's someone on the ship who can help," T'Prunelighting advises. T'Pol says that Phlox already doped her up real good. "I don't mean Phhhloooxxx," T'Prunestruck says, enunciating Phlox's name most oddly and munching her lips in that old person's way. "Trip can be an outlet for these feelings." Is that what the kids are calling it these days? T'Prunesday Machine counsels T'Pol to trust him: "The emotions he stirred in me were powerful and frightening." Ew, come on, I don't want to hear about GRANNY SEX! T'Prunewalk admits that she tried to push Trip away at first -- well, who could blame her, really? -- but that if they hadn't been stranded in the past, it's possible she never would have married him. By the sounds of that honeymoon, it doesn't seem to me that she'd be missing much. Sex and sand do not mix -- bah! There's the GRANNY SEX image again! Stoooooooop! Anyway, Granny Sex -- I mean, "T'Pruney Toons" says she couldn't imagine what her life would have been like without him. "What do you suggest I do?" T'Pol asks, squelching the urge to toss her cookies. "There's a human expression: 'Follow your heart,'" T'Prunebeam intones, showing that T'Pol iPods way too much Thompson Twins in the future. T'Pol wonders what she'll do if her heart won't go on. "It will. In time. It will," T'Prune Cobbler predicts. Future people are so damn smug.

Presenterprise flies into the anomaly. Because the dog sneezed, they start to lose the picture on their viewscreen. Their warp signatures are being reflected, and T'Pol is reading multiple images. Just so you know, that's a good thing. Three Kovaalan ships attack. "Return fire!" Quantum orders. "The nebula's interfering with our targeting scanners," Reed reports, "we'll have to wait until they get closer." "THEY don't seem to be having the same problem!" Quantum bitchily points out. Reed finally gets a lock after Quantum yells at him some more. Ass. Quantum comms Tri'Progeny, and from under Presenterprise, Futureprise wings out. Together they manage to confuse the Kovaalans enough to disable the lead Kovaalan ship and force the other two back. Quantum compliments Tri'Progeny over on Futurerprise. "They must have been surprised when your reflection turned and attacked them," Tri'Progeny explains for the dull-witted among us. Trip suddenly sits up and says, "Oh, NOW I get it!" May-Low-Visibility reports that they're losing speed, and Trip shouts from Engineering that they lost something technologically important. Quantum sits down heavily and tells Tri'Progeny they won't be able to keep up with them. Look, just smear some paste on the flux capacitor, write Doc a note (that he'll tear up and then tape back together again), and all will be well! Maybe I should be the ship's engineer.

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Enterprise

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