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Hoshi and the Beast

Hoshi grabs the Egg of Erised off the desk and holds it above the stone floor. "You mustn't do that -- that's very fragile," Alien Von Stalker, bart. says. Well, doy! Hoshi says that unless he releases her ship, she's going to make good and certain that he never contacts anyone again with the rotten Egg. Alien Von Stalker, bart. says he won't need to contact anyone again if she's with him. Hoshi points out that she'll only be around for another sixty or seventy years. How old is she? I figured her in her late twenties, and she's figuring herself to live close to ninety. ["Maybe the average human lifespan went up to ninety between then and now…?" -- Sars] "What will you do when I'm grave number five out there? Without this you'll never find another companion. You will be alone for the rest of your life," Hoshi taunts him. Alien Von Stalker, bart. again begs her to think what he's offering her. Nope, the time for thinking is over, and the time for smashing Humpty Dumpty is about to begin. To make this point, Hoshi holds the Egg of Erised in one hand -- which makes it seem like the cheap plastic knock-off it is -- and tells him it's his last chance. "Wait, he's a telepathic alien -- how is he even able to control anything on the ship?" the Evil Dr. Mathra wonders. He's Jake 2.1.8 -- the ultimate alien upgrade.

Enterprise. The power comes back on. Quantum orders a Reed Alert and fields a call from Hoshi. He asks her what the hell is going on, and she tells him it's time to come get her.

Quantum logs that Hoshi is back aboard, but without any additional information on the Xindi. He hopes the Bad Breath Star II scans that T'Pol is analyzing will be fruitful. You know, veggies grow as prolifically as fruit does -- why doesn't anyone ever say that they hope something will be veggieful? I was just wondering. In the Command Center, T'Pol and Quantum technobabble. T'Pol's mapping has shown that there must be at least fifty more spheres out there to account for all the gravimetric distortions. She figures up a hypothesis on the screen and shows a tangled web of gravimetric waves. "Did it ever occur to you that whoever built these things may have done it to create the Expanse?" Quantum asks. "Why would someone want to create a web of crippling anomalies?" T'Pol asks. Use your creative brain, T'Pol -- it's obviously to keep people out, or to keep someone, or something, in.

In her room, Hoshi finishes her book. She sits up and sees Alien Von Stalker, bart. sitting in her room. She demands to know what he's doing there. Instead of answering, the Creepazoid asks if she enjoyed the ending. "You can't do this -- I don't want you watching me," Hoshi says. "This is the last time. I promise," Alien Von Stalker, bart. says. Yeah, right. You mean this is the last time you're going to let her see you watching her. Alien Von Stalker, bart. says he brought information for Quantum. "Why now?" Hoshi asks. "You're on a dangerous mission, I don't want to see you harmed," Alien Von Stalker, bart. says. Oh, that's so sweet! I mean, it clearly erases all the ESPeeping Tom behavior, along with the threat to kill her crew. "Who knows -- you may change your mind about me someday," Alien Von Stalker, bart. says.

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