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Hoshi and the Beast

Last great book I read:
Face Reading: Keys to Instant Character Analysis, and I've moved on to Stalking for Dummies.

If I could be anywhere at the moment:
Inside your head.

Song or album that puts me in the mood:

Listening to you is sexy, watching you is sexier.

The five items I can't live without:
A talking teapot, a talking clock, a talking mirror, a talking candelabra, and a red rose under a glass.

In my bedroom you'll find:
The bodies of all my exes. But don't worry, they died of very natural causes.

Most humbling moment:
Getting caught in someone else's subconscious with toilet paper stuck to my shoe.

Hoshi doesn't think she's ready to date yet, but Alien Von Stalker says he knows they're on an important mission and that's exactly what he wants to talk to her about. Suuure. See, once she told him she didn't like him in that way, Alien Von Stalker is trying to play it off like, "It's not a date, it's just coffee." I'm not obsessed with you; I just want to talk about your mission that I now know everything about because I've be squatting in your lobes for the last two weeks.

Quantum's Quarters. After Hoshi gives him the lowdown, Quantum bristles that Alien Von Stalker didn't give her any information as a show of good faith; he thinks they could be walking into another Xindi ambush. Hoshi insists that Alien Von Stalker knows all about the millions of people that were killed, and he's horrified by it, so he really wants to help them with the Xindi. And chain her to a bed while feeding her only Cheetos. Quantum stalks by her, comms May-Without-or-Without-You, and puts out his hand for Hoshi's e-pad.

Enterprise reaches a planet and launches a sh'pod. Reed, Quantum, and Hoshi stand on the welcome mat of Castle Stalker, and the front doors magically open to reveal a candlelit corridor. This guy has no manners whatsoever. First he enters subconsciouses without an invitation, and now he's not there to greet his guests. The three go into another room, and a muffled voice says he asked Hoshi to come alone. Quantum quotes Starfleet regs about first contact: "I hope that's not a problem." I have a problem with the fact that Quantum doesn't add, "And we don't make a practice of sending crewmembers off to meet weirdos who get in touch with them via brainwaves without an escort." Alien Von Stalker says he's pleased all three of them could come. He steps into the light to reveal himself and -- yawn. He's no Aladdin. He's not even the Hunchback, or any of the gargoyles. Now, if he were Scar, I'd be interested in spending some time with him. Mmm, Jeremy Irons.

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