Episode Report Card
Keckler: D+ | Grade It Now!
Hoshi and the Beast

Enterprise. A sh'pod launches. Trip and Quantum pass through gravimetric distortions with flying colors and a distinct lack of anomalies. They have a bit of a rough ride before they finally arrive at the Bad Breath Star II. Trip reports that the sensor relays were screwed up as result of the turbulence when they went through the cloaking device, and he can't fix them from the inside of the sh'pod, as they are on the undercarriage. Without any other choice, they land so that Trip can fiddle from the outside. Quantum and Trip exit the ship in their EV suits. "Not exactly my idea of shore leave," Trip says. No, not exactly, since chances are you'll return to the ship fully clothed this time. Quantum tells Trip to get to work while he takes a looks around. They're on the surface of the Bad Breath Star II; it's not like there's a colonial town nearby. "Don't get lost," Trip chuckles.

Bad Breath Star II. Trip fiddles and screws up enough that the sh'pod fires thrusters and lifts up, up, and away. Trip explains what he did wrong and ends the technobabbling with, "Sonofabitch!" Quantum wonders if they can launch without a port thruster, and Trip thinks they can try. They take out their phasers and aim at the drifting sh'pod. Quantum fires and misses. "Careful, sir, that was awfully close to the O2 recycler," Trip says. Quantum gives him a look. They both fire some more and miss some more. "I need to spend more time in the Armory," Trip says. I'm sure Reed would agree. On many levels. Quantum makes another face as if Trip's chattering is getting on his nerves. They fire some more, and finally the sh'pod starts to descend. It hits the Bad Breath Star II and bounces toward them. For some completely insanely incomprehensible reason that I can only attribute to their collective stupidity, they don't move out of the way. The sh'pod flips and bounces several times and skids toward them. They still don't move, although Quantum makes a slight movement like he just realized they should. The sh'pod screeches on the metal right up to them. I think they should get their EV suits checked, because it's clear that oxygen is no longer REACHING THEIR BRAINS! God. Even Quantini knows to jump out of the way when Hunca Munca skids across the hardwood toward him. "That whole thing with the firing at the thrusters and it falling like that? Yeah, that move can be found in the big book of science under 'physical impossibility'!" the Evil Dr. Mathra rants, fielding emails the night before the first midterm from students trying to get out of taking the midterm by saying they have to go to frat meetings or pick up their brothers at the airport. I never would have tried that shit when I was in college.

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