Enterprise

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B- | 279 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Future Nonsense

Situation Room. Trip presents the gold bricks and tells Quantum and T'Pol that they were heavily shielded in the MMP. "It might be the black box," Trip hazards. Just in case there are those of us out there who weren't alive in the last two years but can still somehow comprehend this dialogue, T'Pol explains that a "black box" might be able to tell them what happened with the MMP. Trip mentions Bread and Circuits again -- I have no idea what the hell "organic circuitry" really has to do with anything, and I really don't want to know -- and then tells Quantum he's gotta git him down that Infinite Corridor so he can see how far the shaft goes. I wonder if Darwin's Deli delivers Corned Beef Slash with a dill pickle this late. "Bigger on the inside?" Quantum asks. Yes, they do deliver! Phlox calls Quantum to tell him he needs to see him in Sick Bay ASAP. T'Pol and Quantum leave.

Sick Bay ASAP. Turns out Corpus Chris T. isn't a pure human. Going back several generations, Corpus Chris T is also Vulcan, Terrellian, and another species Phlox can't identify. Kitschen Confidential: There are these brilliantly purple shells you can find in Apulia, Italy that were ground up in ancient times and used as dyes. Because it took ten thousand shells to produce just one gram of dye, they were only used to purple the robes of the Roman emperors. However, in 314 A.D., Pope Sylvester I discovered the color purple and insisted on using the dye for all his vestments. Despots and the cloth, man -- maybe that's the origin of "purple prose." Horace called it the definitive imitation of the shade of violets. And you know, I don't really have a point except that the dye is called "Terranian Purple," and I always think of it when I hear the name "Terrellian." Maybe when we finally do meet the Terrellians, they'll turn out to be purple people. Quantum is flummoxed that a human can have Vulcan ancestors that go so far back when they only just met the Vulcans. Hello? "Carbon Creek," anyone? Phlox just repeats his findings, and Quantum calls T'Pol out of the room.

T'Pol and Quantum unhook the lo-jack on Daniels's quarters. God, Daniels's Time Traveler's Almanac is going to get thumbed though more than a stack of Reader's Digests in a public bathroom! How convenient to have something like that on board at your total and unchecked disposal. T'Pol doesn't think that Daniels would approve, but Quantum overrules her. They page through the microfischtion, and T'Pol sees a Vulcan cruiser she doesn't recognize. "That's because it hasn't been built yet," Quantum reminds her. GOD! Yes, it's O Fortuna's diary -- WE GET IT! Stop already. T'Pol decides to tell Quantum that, despite the anvil with pointed ears and a fanged teddy bear named Seth the Sehlat that just chewed through the bars of its cage, few Vulcans have ever chosen to mate with another species. "Worried about contaminating your genome with a little human DNA?" Quantum snipes. T'Pol alludes to "significant biological differences" between the two species. "It's unlikely we could reproduce," she concludes. Quantum does a double-take. Oh, go shave your ass, Quantum -- I knew what she meant even if your pisi brain didn't. "Humans and Vulcans," T'Pol clarifies.

Enterprise

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