Future Tense

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Keckler: C+ | Grade It Now!
Future Nonsense

T'Pol and Quantum unhook the lo-jack on Daniels's quarters. God, Daniels's Time Traveler's Almanac is going to get thumbed though more than a stack of Reader's Digests in a public bathroom! How convenient to have something like that on board at your total and unchecked disposal. T'Pol doesn't think that Daniels would approve, but Quantum overrules her. They page through the microfischtion, and T'Pol sees a Vulcan cruiser she doesn't recognize. "That's because it hasn't been built yet," Quantum reminds her. GOD! Yes, it's O Fortuna's diary -- WE GET IT! Stop already. T'Pol decides to tell Quantum that, despite the anvil with pointed ears and a fanged teddy bear named Seth the Sehlat that just chewed through the bars of its cage, few Vulcans have ever chosen to mate with another species. "Worried about contaminating your genome with a little human DNA?" Quantum snipes. T'Pol alludes to "significant biological differences" between the two species. "It's unlikely we could reproduce," she concludes. Quantum does a double-take. Oh, go shave your ass, Quantum -- I knew what she meant even if your pisi brain didn't. "Humans and Vulcans," T'Pol clarifies.

They scan some more screens for the Magical Mystery Pod. "If a human and a Vulcan did have a child, I wonder if he'd have pointed ears," Quantum muses. I don't know -- did Spock have pointed ears? It's not clear to me. T'Pol gives Quantum a weird look. Quantum suddenly finds the MMP in The Time Traveler's Almanac. "Considering how many Ford models there were in the 1950s alone, that was unrealistically fast of them," says Mathra, taking a piece of garlic paper out of Hunca Munca's mouth. The freak is obsessed with to eating them. Hunca Munca, not Mathra. Quantum pays lip service to Daniels's group of time-travelling history majors, and we learn that the MMP is from the thirty-first century and powered by a "temporal displacement drive." I have this image of the writers inventing technobabble by cutting up pages of technobabble from past scripts and putting them together on a refrigerator like magnet poetry. Quantum worries that if the Suliban get their hands on the MMP, it could have an effect on the Temporal Cold War, and T'Pol wants to know why no one from the future has come to reclaim this S.S. Minnow of their time. May-Running-To-Stand-Still comms Quantum that there is an alien ship closing in on them, but it isn't Suliban.

A ship that looks like an inflated arrowhead follows Enterprise. Just another toy to add to my collection! Pretty cool design. Aside from T'Pol's wardrobe, I love the design department on this show.

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