Future Tense

Episode Report Card
Keckler: C+ | Grade It Now!
Future Nonsense

Engineering. Trip and Malcolm Powder fiddle with stuff from the MMP and gabble about time travel. It turns out that Malcolm is a read-the-last-page-of-the-book in the When Harry Met Sally sense, but Trip prefers to leave more to the imagination. I wish he'd thought of that before he ran his chicken-skin carcass around the ship. Malcolm Powder does some more proving that he likes girls, but Trip scoffs at knowing who his true love is before it's temporally correct to know, and makes countless numbers of viewers swoon at being all romantical. Me? I just dived into a tub of gin and did some deep breathing. The Dynamic Do Not go to the Launch Bay to play with the MMP and discuss what past event they'd most like to witness. Trip would like to meet a stegosaurus. I'm not kidding, that's what he actually said. And are you surprised? I suppose he'd also like to have his first date be one where the only decision to be made is whether you club the girl before or after the stega-steaks. Malcolm Powder wants to see the Brits defeat the Spanish Armada in 1588. What? He wouldn't choose 1066? Come on, he could see Norman raping and pillaging, AND Haley's Comet! Suddenly, in a never-before-done plot twist, Trip and Reed relive that scene. At first I thought it was all that gin I inhaled, but when Trip anticipates Reed's date of choice being 1588, I realized what was happening. And then I went to inhale some more. Initially, Trip and Reed discount the déjà vu, but when it happens a second time (or third, depending on how you're counting), they get wigged.

Bridge. Phlox examines the repeat offenders as they tell him what they experienced, but he can't find anything wrong with them. Well, nothing out of the ordinary, that is -- in my opinion, Malcolm shouldn't do orange frosts. T'Pol discovers that the MMP is emitting something that might not agree with them, and Quantum brainstorms that it might be the temporal radiation the Tholians were warning them about. Reed reminds us that he and Trip have been hanging around the MMP a goodly amount of time, Phlox decides whatever they caught won't have lasting effects, and T'Pol supposes the temporal radiation could have affected their perception of time. "Or maybe they really were reliving the same moment," Quantum suggests. Like he knows better than a Vulcan science officer? Not bloody likely. Quantum wants the area around the MMP sealed off and evacuated. FINALLY! Idiot.

After dismissing the other three, Quantum and T'Pol have a little confab in his Ready Room. T'Pol's afraid the radiation could seep into other parts of the ship. Just get some duct tape and plastic sheeting, you'll be fine. Quantum sweeps her concern under his rug by saying that they'll soon be meeting up with the Vulcans in order to rid themselves of the meddlesome pod. As they've already had two "hostile species" on their asses, T'Pol doesn't think they'll survive that long. Quantum stubbornly thinks they can play Keep Away with the MMP, but T'Pol advises him to destroy it. "I'm not going to do that. I'm tired of these factions interfering with our century. It's time we took a more active interest in this war -- gathered some intelligence for ourselves!" Quantum tells her. They argue over whether they should storm the beach at Normandy -- er, "get involved," with Quantum being yay and T'Pol being nay. Guess who wins? As T'Pol does some stomping out, she reminds her captain that the Suliban could return cloaked, and recommends they go to tactical alert. Quantum nods before turning back to Windex his Weight Of The World Window.

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