Enterprise
Horizon

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Home Is Where the Snark Is

Mathra and I just had a "discussion" about ice, and when I accused him of picking an argument, he said, "No, picking an argument would be me coming in here and saying, 'I think Enterprise is a good show.'" The boy's got a point.

Horizon Bridge. Stuff shakes, rattles, and rolls, but Capt. Bro-Weather can't manage to get through to their attackers. May-Dilweg tries to offer some help in a interfering sort of way, but is smacked down by Bro-Weather. Several times. The attacking ships go away, but leave their calling card in the form of a blinking device on the hull. "It's emitting a sub-space signal -- could be some kind of beacon," the helmsman says. Maybe they're seeking PEACE-ful co-EXISTENCE! I cavort at any opportunity to work that into a recap. Demmed dropped potentially very exciting storylines. Capt. Bro-Weather wants Engineering to "pry it off," but May-Dilweg is against that because he determines that the thing is explosive.

Capt. Bro-Weather, May-Dilweg, Mum-Weather, and Helmsman -- is that supposed to be Charlie? -- look at some scans of an alien ship sent to them by another cargo ship that was attacked. It seems to be the same type that just kicked sand on the Horizon. Helmsman Possibly Charlie explains that, according to the other cargo ship, a few days after the attack, another bigger ship showed up and demanded their cargo. When the cargo ship put up resistance, they were boarded by the alien ship and relieved of their cargo, and several crewmembers were killed. Turns out the other cargo ship has the same weaponry as Horizon. Dun-dun-DUUUN! There's some really bad blue-screen effects happening to Capt. Bro-Weather as he discusses what to do. They decide to jettison some of their cargo so they can increase their speed and reach their destination a few days ahead of schedule. May-Dilweg wonders aloud what they will do if the alien ship comes back before then. "There's no other choice, we can't shoot our way out of this," Capt. Bro-Weather says. I'm really distracted by this blue-screen halo -- it's like they shot the scene and then pasted Capt. Bro-Weather in later.

Citing "Fallen Hero"'s Mazarite encounter, May-Dilweg outlines a way for them to take out the alien ship's engines with some newly configured stuff he can do to Horizon's plasma turrets and engines. Capt. Bro-Weather gets very angry, saying he won't risk everyone's lives by getting into a fight they can't win. "If they reach us before we make it to Deneva, we'll give them what they want," Capt. Bro-Weather tells Mum-Weather and Helmsman Possibly Charlie. Of course, May-Dilweg has to start lecturing his brother on the pearls-before-swine of wisdom he's learned from his captain. That's pretty insufferable, I must admit. Basically, it amounts to standing up to bullies so they think twice before they blow you to smithereens and move on to the next puny ship that's always picked last in gym. Capt. Bro-Weather "appreciates" his advice but reminds May-Dilweg that he's no longer a member of the crew. May-Dilweg gives Mum-Weather a look that totally says, "Mo-om, make him stop touching me!" Capt. Bro-Weather orders the excess cargo jettisoned and their speed increased. Left alone together, Mum-Weather reminds May-Dilweg that even Pop-Weather had to make compromises: "The safest thing to do is to give them what they want -- cargo can be replaced." Granted, but doesn't that get a bit expensive after awhile? I mean, exactly whose pockets does it come out of -- the transporter of the cargo, the receiver of the cargo, or the exporter of the cargo? Maybe they have special insurance to cover all alien interference -- corporeal and non- -- under the "Acts of God" clause which also covers wormholes, temporal shifts, rips in the time-space continuum, and general unexplainable by real science events.

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