Episode Report Card
Keckler: B+ | Grade It Now!
The Vulcansnatchers

Quantum's sh'pod reaches the Vulcan ship. Even though main power is offline and several decks have decompressed, T'Pol can read several bio-signs aboard. The sh'pod docks, and Reed forces open the airlock. T'Pol looks in horror at the wreck of the Hesperus, but doesn't yet see the form of a maiden fair lashed to her mast, so they press on among the roaring breakers and fritzing wires. Reed finds something and points to a door that looks covered in a mass of blue Silly Putty. "They were lining this bulkhead with Trellium -- they didn't get very far," he explains. They do some more exploring, and Quantum orders Reed and the Uh-Oh to starboard while he and T'Pol continue together.

Reed finds Vulcan blood spattered on a bulkhead.

Quantum and T'Pol go down another corridor and hear metallic, echoey, banging. T'Pol reads one bio-sign behind a door and tries to open it. Not succeeding, she hotwires the door and, with Quantum, manually pulls the door open. A Vulcan lunges at T'Pol, who ducks and barely misses being decapitated with some big metal tool. No, not Quantum -- more like a wrench. Quantum throws the lunging Vulcan out of the way and fights him. The Vulcan slashes Quantum across the face with his fingernails and heads for T'Pol, who fires at him. When that doesn't work, she kicks him in the chest. And when that doesn't work, Quantum stuns him, and the Vulcan goes down with his arms and giant wrench raised over his head in strike position. His face bleeding from three parallel scratches, Quantum stares confusedly at T'Pol.

Dear Dr. Katz, I am getting increasingly worried about Hunca Munca's behavior. After knocking Quantini off his perch three times and ferreting his helmet away to god only knows where, he has now seen fit to completely shred the first three pages of notes I had taken on this episode. He seems to be acting out -- what do you think? Sincerely, Keckler

Dear Keckler, Of course he's acting out -- have you seen this show?! Yrs., Dr. Katz, DMV

T'Pol stares down at the fallen Vulcan and leans heavily against a bulkhead. Quantum asks if she's okay, and when she doesn't respond, he says, "T'Pol?" with a little catch in his voice. Interesting. I wonder if that was intentional, or just that thing that happens when you don't clear your throat properly before speaking. T'Pol shudders that she's fine, and scans the Vulcan. "His synaptic pathways have been severely damaged," she notes. Quantum orders him to the pod, but as they start to gather him up, two more Vulcans stagger down the hall towards them. T'Pol and Quantum fire, once, twice, before the Vulcans fall three times the ladies. Stepping over the Vulcan debris, Quantum comms Reed to be wary of Vulcans bearing resemblance to brain-eating zombies. I think Reed's brain is safe, actually. Soon after the warning, Reed and the Uh-Oh are set upon by a troupe of Thriller extras. The make-up similarities? Uncanny. The Uh-Oh gets slashed in the arm and goes down with a whimper. Reed's getting choked by a Vulcombie when Quantum appears of out the darkness and fires expertly at Reed's attacker. Reed asks what happened to the Vulcans, but instead of answering, T'Pol warns that seven more Vulcombies are on their way. The team is further hastened by the other Vulcombies staggering back to consciousness. I think they made them all hold those extra large wrenches and screwdrivers so they'd have something to do with their arms other than hold them out in front of them.

The Away Team scoots down the corridor. The Uh-Oh snicks a button on his weapon, and we hear a high-pitched ping. "What are you doing?" T'Pol demands. "'Stun' isn't working, we should set our weapons to 'kill,'" the Uh-Oh explains. T'Pol has a big problem with that and tells him they're on a rescue mission. "With respect, ma'am, they don't seem to want our help," the Uh-Oh says. T'Pol yanks the Uh-Oh around to face her and says, "You heard me!" The Uh-Oh looks to Quantum, who reiterates T'Pol's order.

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