Enterprise

Episode Report Card
Keckler: A+ | 574 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
Best. Episode. Ever.

She-Ho and Evil Leaper are sweatily post-quoital. No, say it out loud. Go ahead. Get it now? Good. She-Ho plays with Evil Leaper's sweaty, fuzzy nipples and sighs that she hasn't had it that good in a long time. Evil Leaper moves around restlessly and asks if she transmitted the info to the Fleet Admiral. She did, and wonders what it was. "Insurance policy," Evil Leaper says, sitting up and pulling on his pants. She-Ho asks what's up. "Tucker's a competent engineer. If he wanted to damage the cloak, he would have done a much better job," Evil Leaper thinks out loud. "Well, it couldn't have been easy with T'Pevil looking over his shoulder," She-Ho supposes. Evil Leaper has a furrowstorm and goes to his computer. "Locate Commander T'Pevil," Evil Leaper instructs. "Unable to comply. Internal sensors are offline," the computer responds. The COMPUTER RESPONDS! Because of course they'd have that technology now! Cool. I wonder who did the voice -- it's a dude. Clearly not Majel Barrett. Or even Majevil Barrett. It finally sinks into Evil Leaper that the sensors were damaged by the overload. Evil Leaper orders She-Ho to stay there as he pulls on a shirt and grabs a gun. I was about to yum over the black shirt, but then I saw that it's more of an olive green stretchy thing with black horizontal stripes and decided that it looks more at home in a club. In SoMa. Called "Stud."

T'Pevil and her Vulcan entourage of two saunter down a corridor and bust Forrest out of the Brig. Barefooted Evil Leaper and his men are blasted at by the Vulcan Entourage. Evil Leaper ducks into a turbolift. T'Pevil tells Forrest that comms and sensors are disabled. "We'll take the Bridge first," Forrest says, taking a gun and leaving the Brig.

Bridge. A few shots (don't know if they are "stun" or "kill") secure the Bridge. Forrest orders a course set out of Tholian space. T'Pevil can't alter their heading or get the ship to stop. Evil Leaper steps out of the turbolift, his hands raised. "Having trouble?" he asks. Forrest states that Evil Leaper did this. Duh, dude. "Auto-navigation can't be released until we've reached the coordinates I've set," Evil Leaper explains. Forrest appears to amp up his gun and orders Evil Leaper to restore the controls. Evil Leaper can't because they've been encrypted with a "random code," which will take T'Pevil days to decrypt. "We'll arrive at the coordinates long before then," Evil Leaper says, drawing his closed fist up to his chest and saluting. "Bridge is yourrrs, Captain!" he sort of arrghs and squints in an odd choice of delivery. I think Bakula was going for sarcasm but he ended up with pirate.

Enterprise

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