Enterprise
In a Mirror, Darkly, Part I

Episode Report Card
Keckler: A+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Best. Episode. Ever.

She-Ho enters. She's lost the filmy black negligee but she's gained about a pound of charcoal eyeshadow in its place. Evil Leaper dismisses May-Evil. She-Ho states that Evil Leaper never received orders from Starfleet to take the ship into Tholian space because she would have known about it. Why? Because she's some sort of Mata Harshi? I guess we're to believe that Forrest shares EVERYTHING with her. When Evil Leaper decides to pet Evil Porthos rather than respond, She-Ho drops the combative attitude and slinks his way. She didn't think he had a mutiny in him. Evil Leaper takes that as a compliment. She-Ho wonders what happened to Forrest. "He's safe," Evil Leaper grunts. "How do I know you didn't push him out an airlock?" She-Ho wonders. Because he's the captain who cried airlock. Fool. Pushing a button on his PC, Evil Leaper pops up a Brig camera and shows her Forrest's cell. However, Evil Leaper won't let her talk to her lover yet. "He'll remain alive as long as you don't cause any trouble. No hidden distress signals to Starfleet. I need you and your expertise," Evil Leaper snaps. She-Ho pushes herself off his desk and purrs, "Is that all you need?" She looks him up and down. Evil Leaper stiffens (everywhere, I assume) and turns away from her. She-Ho exposits that Evil Leaper never forgave her for leaving him. Well, duh, this is an evil universe -- I'm sure people hold fairly long grudges here. Evil Leaper clenches that she saw a way to the top by being on top and she took it. "Just as you did," She-Ho reminds him. "You should've been captain from the moment we left spacedock. You've always known that. If it hadn't been for all those admirals conspiring behind your back, Enterprise would have been yours." Evil Leaper doesn't say anything. She-Ho pushes her fingertips into his side and says, "Tradition says that whatever belonged to the previous captain is yours for the taking." Her face is about an inch from his now. Evil Leaper sort of shoves her away, only to say, "I've never been one to argue with tradition," and then yank her back in a nose-flattening kiss that had absolutely no heat and seemed as dry as a nun. Seriously -- I'm now dehydrated. What is with Bakula's complete absence of passion on this show? Does he have a jealous wife or something? While still "kissing," She-Ho pulls a knife from the back of her bra and raises it above her head. Also still "kissing," Evil Leaper blocks her arm and snatches the knife away. They don't break the clinch until T'Pevil comms Evil Leaper. "Maybe we should keep our relationship on a professional level," Evil Leaper says, flinging She-Ho to the couch. I thought she was a professional. T'Pevil announces that they're approaching the warp signature. Before leaving for the Bridge, Evil Leaper grabs She-Ho by the back of the neck and holds her own knife up to her face. "I expect you to be in a better mood when I get back," he says, and stalks off. Still not feeling the evil, buddy.

Bridge. T'Pevil slinks out of the captain's chair and says they're nearing their target. Reedvil reads one Tholian biosign on board. The other ship sees them. "He's arming weapons," Reedvil sneers. Evil Leaper orders the ship disabled and wants the pilot left uninjured. Reedvil takes care of it. The Tholian tries to sabotage his own ship. They beam the Tholian into Decon and the Tholian ship explodes. T'Pevil confirms that they have the pilot.

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Enterprise

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