Goddamned UPN promo monkeys ruined the ending of this episode for us. Haaaaate. Oh, you want to watch this here episode that's coming up in THREE SECONDS? Well, let's show you what happens so you don't have to. There. Now you can turn the channel, watch another station, another show, and continue to kill the ratings for us. Thaaaaaanks. Punk-ass dillholes.

Defiant's Bridge. Evil Leaper bellows at Evil Trinneevil to get on various engineering things and then makes me guffaw by saying, "Release the ducking clamps." Sure, he meant "docking," but it's like he turned into The Kumars at No. 42 for a moment. Jackass. They're screwed for a bunch of ship functions, so Evil Leaper leaps around, evilly, glaring at people. Man, and I thought his regular furrows were bad, but these are…the same, actually. Reedvil says the shields are functional. "Raise THEM!" Evil Leaper says. It's like Bakula went and watched "The Corbomite Maneuver" and is now trying to act like a Shouting Vulcan all "STAND-byyy to-photow-GRAPH!". The ship can't break free of the clamps. Evil Leaper then does some dreknobabble, finishing with, "I'll alternate port and starboard thrusters. ThatshouldshakethemLOOSE." What a freak. Just a big, big freak. They break free, but the Tholians start dreamweaving. Because they believe it will get them through the night. However, unlike last week's triangulated icosahedron, this is more like a cat's cradle. Sans little boy blue, of course, but there's probably a man in the moon. Evil Leaper heaves us into the awesome credits.

I could watch these over and over again for the entire hour and feel I had spent my time wisely. I think it says something about the caliber of the regular credits that four peace-loving liberals and one Kiwi Green were hooting and hollering at all the death and destruction on the screen. Dr. Mathra really wanted that jet to be Bush's premature and immature "Mission Accomplished" moment because truly, if there was something evil...

More dreknobabble. Evil Trinneevil manages to do something that brings tactical online, and they fire their way out of spacedock. Evil Leaper asks, "Does this thing have half torpedoes?" Yes, he meant "aft," but again, his freakshow delivery is just so fucking distracting! They fire their half torpedoes and explode the station. I don't care that TOS' Enterprise didn't have aft torpedoes. This is the Defiant and that's good enough for this recapper. Reedvil announces that Enterprise's escape pods are out there and wanting to be rescued. Evil Leaper pauses for a bit BECAUSE WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THAT HE MIGHT JUST MIGHT LET THEM ALL PERISH LIKE I'M JUST SO SURE HE WOULD EVER HAVE THE EVIL BALLS. Dillweed. Evil Leaper orders the pods brought aboard. Whatever, I'm over his "evilness."