Enterprise
In a Mirror, Darkly, Part II

Episode Report Card
Keckler: A | Grade It Now!
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There Was an Evil Man Who Had An Evil Furrow

Phlevil reports that he found traces of reptilian saliva in the redstripe's wounds because a really large reptile-type thing bit him. T'Pevil stands up to say that they can't sweep the whole ship for the creature since some of the sensors are still offline. So, they put Jolene in a "sexy" charcoal-blue TOS mini-dress but, dude, it bunches and catches and clings in all the wrong ways and it's making me want to spray Static Guard all over her. Not attractive. Evil Trinneevil comes in with more bad news about the engines: because of all the sabotage, they only have impulse engines. Hey, Trinneevil, can I stop the world and melt with you? Evil Leaper orders one of the Tholian slave workers brought in for questioning. Reedvil mops up a pool of saliva before carrying out the orders.

May-Evil, who, in the earlier scene, was togged out in a tiiiiight redshirt (can you believe they finally acknowledged May-Evil's deathwatch status?) that showed off his pythons, is now in a tank top to ensure that nothing impedes him as he Abu Ghraibs the slave worker. Finally, the soppy, blue-faced, no-nosed, fish-like prisoner sobbingly admits that their slave master is a Gorn and was planning to sabotage the ship.

Reedvil shows Evil Leaper where they think the Gorn might be. And then something weird happens to my cable system. We jump to another scene where Evil Leaper is dressed like Quantum and is talking over Reedvil. Seriously. The transition was so awkward that we actually thought the editing crew had screwed up in a big way. We had to rewind and play a few times before we finally figured out that Evil Leaper was having a psychotic moment. See, his Other Self is sitting on the Bridge, taunting him. And while I'm all for taunting this guy, I thought this whole thing was one of the weakest things about this episode. It's nowhere near the Baltar-Six or Crichton-Harvey interaction and just looks pathetic by comparison. Evil Leaper decides to take an assault team and track down the Gorn himself. She-Ho finds the Gorn on the comm and Evil Leaper attempts talk to him. Evil Leaper shouts at the Gorn that he wants his plasma stuff back. The Gorn is all, "Sorry, dude, humans suck." During the conversation, we get a darkened shot of the Gorn's profile, which sort of makes him look Scarran and I got really hopeful. Those hopes will be dashed in a very few minutes. Fucking show. Evil Leaper continues to bellow, but the Gorn hangs up on him. T'Pevil tries to talk some sense into Evil Leaper but he doesn't listen because the familiar swish-swish of the turbo-lift doors drown her out. In the turbolift, Quantum (whose face is so much bigger than Evil Leaper's) does some more subversive nattering in Evil Leaper's ear.

The assault team searches and strategizes. Reedvil brings his men to a corridor where they have tracked and triangulated a biosign. Reedvil waits for it, flexes, nods at his men, then jumps into a lunging pose in the middle of the corridor. His backup crew follow with similar poses. It's like Star Trek!: The Musical. The tracked biosign is coming from a modified comm device left on the floor. A trap. Elsewhere, a production assistant in oversized reptilian gloves pushes a button. Explosion. Evil Leaper prances to investigate. "I've failed you, Captain," Reedvil chokes out as Evil Leaper steps over his bleeding face. Well, you would wear a red shirt, Reed. I mean, I know it matched your lips, honey, but next time? Be smart rather than pretty. Evil Leaper tells T'Pol to go to Plan B and modify environmentals on another deck.

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