Enterprise

Episode Report Card
Keckler: B | 269 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Starship Mine

Quantum tells Reed that he has Trip working on a backup plan, but he really would prefer not to use it. "Right now, you're our best bet. Be careful, Malcolm," Quantum signs off. What they aren't telling him is that the backup plan is to use Malcolm as a battering ram through the minefield. Peter Cooke in Blackadder voice: "Cannon fodder!" To no one in particular and apropos of I don't know what, May-waste says, "I see it," as he guides the ship along. The corresponding movement rattles Reed and the mine. The mine sticks another securing arm out and drives it through Reed's leg, pinning him to the hull. Hey, look, it's Reed Satay! A few bubbles of blood float away, and something white oozes out of the EV suit to seal the space surrounding the spike's entry. Reed groan-comms the Bridge and tells him of his appetizing situation. Geddit? Reed's now an appetizer, because of the thing through his leg? Oh, just get a sense of humor already. Quantum tells him he's on his way, but Trip tries to stop him, saying he's the one who should go out there. "Aw, lookit that -- Trip's missing his lover," Mathra croons, then looks wild-eyed at me, "SLASH! God, what have your forums done to me?" He runs screaming out of the apartment. Quantum tells Trip he needs his engineer to stay on the ship and leaves. I hope Mathra remembers we need milk.

Sickbay. Hoshi again tries to get to the Bridge to do her duty and again Phlox makes her stay. "If you'd like, I can have them bring the comm-logs here," Phlox offers. Aw, I love Phlox. Hoshi nods wearily.

Hull. Quantum walks ponderously toward his armory officer. Considering Reed's been skewered like a Lil'Smokey at a 1978 cocktail party, you'd think he could pick up the pace a little. What? You're saying it's space and not his brow or the Weight of the World that's causing him to walk like that?

Enterprise

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